P2H3 Run # 859 — The Three Hares of the Apocalypse

Run date: 1/6/08

Hares: Rubbed Raw, Wankee Yankee, Rowena (walk)

Run report: Ikea

Hashers hoping for a lazy Sunday stumble around the fields and a bit of fun before giving the Anchor Beer a thrashing felt their hamstrings convulse immediately on seeing the Haring line-up for this week’s run: Rubbed Raw (FRB; a disgracefully fit Scot. Scots are supposed to be fat and jolly like Colin Montgomery), Hugo (FRB; as seen on late nite abmaster commercials), and Rowena (FWB, injured FRB; cycles more than is sane in this climate). What kind of death march would this trio come up with?

The truck rolled up to the start of the run - past Tahkmau, not far beyond Duck Mansion - where the Hares were waiting with their bikes. ‘No half-way. Half-ways are for sissies’ was the call from the Hares. Then we had to carry the heavily stocked eskies a hundred leagues onto the ferry. Dear God, I found myself almost wishing for a Phlegm run.

Once over on the Bassac island, we set off and straight away found ourselves among low hanging branches designed to scalp virgins and taller people. Apparently, one virgin took a hit to the head and had to retire with a nasty gash. The trail was hot, long (even Runs Well was seen sweating at one point) but generally well marked and the Hares kindly placed a number of holds (although some holds were marked during the run, which probably broke a hash convention of some sort but shows that the hares were feeling guilty). But all trail markings are superflous to Phlegm who short-cutted his way around the course with more success than normal — this time he didn’t need to take a moto back to the finish.

A hot and very whiffy pack arrived back at the ferry port for much needed liquid. Some of the German visitors/virgins had been boasting about how much beer they were going to imbibe, did the Hash have enough? You know what Germans are like at drinking etc etc etc. Well - on arrival at the finish they went straight for the water. All talk. The circle was convened and Fester set up a chair in the middle of the road and invited motorbikes to drive around him.

The christening of Wankee Yankee troubled Hash minds for a little while. The man is noted for fiddling with dogs during runs and he almost got away with the somewhat lame ‘Hot Dog’. However, all knew that Mr Tinkle, though absent fishing, would not abide such a tame moniker, so this Canadian became known as Wankee Yankee, with reference to the fact that his part of Canada aspires to secede, probably to join the USA, who knows. Welcome Monsieur Wankee Yankee! He looked very pleased with his name. The Hash, as always, is culturally sensitive. Congratulations also to Runs Well for his 270th run with P2H3.

ON ON ON ON

Snap from the circle: With his horn in hand as always, GM Blah Blah signals a six pointer