P2H3 Run #862 - A Female Perspective!

Hash Trash is very fortunate this week to have received two contributions for the run report, this one from our budding novelist and Pilates Guru Kate..

A hot, muggy Sunday saw a hash marked by hordes of American virgins, lost children, and crazed bulls. Blah Blah even showed us his soft side (and not by changing his shorts in front of the truck).

With summer vacation underway in the West, the city has been overrun with young, giddy volunteers and interns; it’s only natural some of them would fall in with the wrong crowd and end up at hash. With these sunburnt do-gooders and a pack of wild, barefoot children, we took off from the pagoda. No half-way, we set out with water and Blah Blah’s pleas to avoid trampling the young banana plants.

The run started pleasant enough, through fields and pastures. After a brief rain shower, we were off to the mud baths, where several runners doffed shoes to soak barefoot in the mineral-rich substance. No sooner were we all shod and back on track, when two of the children realized they had better things to do on a Sunday and tried to go home, only to realize they were lost. A good Samaritan escorted them back to the start point; in the future maybe we’ll leave a trail of bread crumbs, or Royal D.

Tears mopped, mud smeared, we once again took off along the back roads of the villages and pastures, and were hit with another gang of angry cows (you’d think they’d be used to being chased by Hashers by now).

Back at the start point, all the children turned up (and were quite chatty), but we had lost half the walkers. Blah Blah convened anyway, and toasted himself and Herring Choker on a run well hared. STD had lots of comments about the run, unfortunately none with a value attachment. Bronco Buster added her ‘comment’, and beer was gulped.

Four hours later, when the last of the virgins were queried and the walkers finally returned, it was time for our weekly dose of religious flogging. The lack of beer the week before was mentioned, but not punished harsh enough for some. One member Tim received his long-awaited punishment for attacking a tree with his head, and all the American males came out in celebration for the new gay marriage law, particularly beautiful was the union of Little Boy and Fester!

Blah Blah paused in the middle of the proceedings to point out the aesthetic beauty of the late afternoon sun hitting the pagoda roof. Hashers reflected for a moment of silent contemplation, then called for the GM to drink for such a lame comment, before loading onto a diesel-spewing truck and filling their bodies with cheap beer.

On On!