P2H3 Run # 863 - The Second Annual Red Dress Run

Date: 28/6/08

Hare: Bronco Buster

Run report: Ikea

About thirty runners and walkers flounced down to the post office for the start of Red Dress Run 2008. This, the second of the RDRs in P2H3 history, seems likely now to be an annual (note the correct spelling there) fixture on the Hash calendar. Around $160 was collected for Friends NGO.

Hare Bronco Buster, a vision in her lacy halloween-inspired frock, has been a vigorous promoter of the red dress run and this year she prepared for us a tour of the capital’s charities. The runners began with a circuit of Wat Phnom, where fine trumpet work from Milky Discharge (looking frankly monstrous in a little girl’s dress with a front pocket for the beer) made Sambo the elephant uneasy. The head scratching over the route then began at the first station. The charities were difficult to recognise (the CPP is a charity, eh?) or find when the street addresses on the worksheet did not compute with the actual situation on the ground as we found it in 2008. We all started off with pencils and paper but most threw them away and let conscientious student HE GM Blah Blah do all the filling-in.

One problem with the recent police crackdown on girlie bars and naughty dealings in the capital is that it forces individuals like Little (lady)Boy out onto the streets to take their chances. His curvaceous (possibly enhanced) red figure and flowing locks all topped by a glorious floral sun hat, was very NOW and attracted plenty of attention, turning inevitably to groping by motodops driven into an uncontrollable sex-frenzy. Madame Ovary was for once put in the shade by her counterpart and was reported to be wild with jealousy over Little Ladyboy’s suitors. As the only frocked up male on the walk it was truly a walk of shame by LB, so - respect.

The runners were almost all as beautifully turned out (Horny Cow, Kate and a virgin even managed to look as if a red dress was a normal part of their running wardrobe) but moving faster there was less time for the populace to become aroused. Foremost may have been Wankee Yankee in a cheesecloth-inspired effort and a curly wig. While he surely made a very fugly lady, his attention to small details, like that red garter, won him many admirering stares. Yap Yap and GM Blah Blah had the same dresses tailored for the run, and if Yap Yap managed to look good and run at the same time, Blah Blah (also bewigged) came over like a washed up tranny from a 1970s glam rock band.

The running group was led as usual by Rubbed Raw. His slutty red form powered away and it was notable that he made no attempt to ensure the material didn’t ride up his thighs. When Thida (Herring Choker’s other half) was later seen wearing the exact same outfit, but as a TOP, Rubbed Raw’s shameless harlotry was revealed for all to see. At one stage, he decided to run away from the group, only to come slutting back for moral support when he realised that in the group there was some context to what he was wearing.

The runners were wilting like roses in the hot conditions (this is why we normally run in the countryside, cooler) and the half-way stop at Friends was extremely welcome. We sucked down some red watermelon and water before handing over the collected cash to the Friends representative. All agreed that shortcutting home along the riverfront to the beer would be the best decision (naturally Phlegm had already done this) in the course of which Mr Tinkle was seen at a pub, not wearing red and claiming to be sick.

The circle took place in front of Pontoon. Shoppers like Kate (book buying must stop on this hash), a sarong wearing Wide Angle and others were reprimanded. For the first time in many moons, serial litigant Flaccido Domingo won a case brought against another hasher, this time by relating Nora’s sloppiness at performing her haring duties. The evidence was undeniable, the crime heinous. Flaccido was then himself duly punished for his very strange African dress/sarong/shorts ensemble and joined in purgatory by Tim in his vaguely red torn up shirt skirt. No points for trying. A bunch of hashers (including Paulette, Laverne and Piglet) were down downed for sitting in the circle and then the merriment finally adjourned to the Velkommen inn on street 104.  There hashers were treated to an elightening DVD of the original San Diego Red Dress Run (thanks to Bronco). We can see that next year we must try harder to sink the Red Dress Run to even greater depths of depravity.

ON ON