Run #936 & 937 – Hash Trekkin’

Date: 17^th & 18^th October 2009

Hares:  Runs Well & Wannacracker

Run Report: Blah Blah

“I believe an early beer may fix our unsavoury state,” declared one hasher as he cracked open a can.  “Yet the clock has just reached 10:20am,” declared another.  And the saw it was so and wept for they had wasted much time ‘ere they began drinking. [Hangover 4:03]

[Narrative:] “Kampong Chhnang, the final frontier.  These are the voyages of the P2H3 outstation run.  Its mission: to explore strange new bars, to seek out inundated paddy and poor, unsuspecting rural villagers, to boldly go where no hash has gone before”

[Cue: screen shot of a dilapidated Cambodian bus slowly gathering speed down Highway 5, approaching warp (60kmph) and then brakes to a screeching halt.  Spillage leaps from the bus and rushes to the side to urinate]

[Scene 1:] Sarsy is wielding a big stick trying to force hashers onto the bus at 8:00am.  May Not is asleep in the back of Blah Blah’s car having just gotten home. Sarsy realises the stick is not working lays a trail of full beer cans to the bus.  The hashers, led by Piglet and Number One, follow the trail of cans into the bus and hence are deported to the wilds of Kampong Chhnang.

[Cue music: “We’re all goin’ onna, summer holiday”]

[Scene 2:] Runs Well and Wannacracker are unable to decide if the run is 10km or 12km without a half-way on the other side of the river from Kampong Chhnang.  Louise surreptitiously backs onto the walkers’ remora hoping no-one will notice.  Phlegm has a sudden, urgent need to carry baby Louise.  Runners pack inexplicably diminishes.

[Cue music: “The Great Escape”]

[Scene 3:]  Yap Yap has given her water to a small village girl to carry.  Toxic Flop has headed off the wrong way despite a clear arrow.  Herring Choker and Little Willy watch Toxic Flop heading into the distance, possibly nearing Kampong Thom, whilst giggling hysterically. Shoots Blanks is now missing, presumed either dead or joined with the walkers.

[Cue music: “I think we’re alone now”]

[Scene 4:] Most of the hash has headed up a mountain being led by Runs Well and Flip Flop.  The walkers have joined though Barby Doll and Tips return after going three quarters of the journey. Vannary uses pregnancy as an excuse for going only halfway.  Blah Blah and Herring Choker sneak back to get stuck into the beer before anyone else has a chance.  Phillipe joins them.  They discover Sarsy has been there the entire time sipping the Anchor and feel cheated.

[Cue music:  “Return to Sender”]

[Scene 5:] Party at the Sovann Phum Hotel.  Footloose and Catwalk Boy have unleashed a light and dance show.  Alexander is break dancing whilst Chick Pea proves she still has the groove.  Blah Blah still thinks he can Cossack dance.  Frenchie is demolishing the food and Leking Duck has finally arrived with Bulimia and Son of Bitch in tow.

[Cue music:  “Dancing Queen”]

[Scene 6:]  A new day.  The runners are between sharp forested hills in fields of brilliant green paddy.  The view is stunning however Herring Choker fails to notice as he is about to throw up.  Leking Duck is already missing.  The hangover run is aptly named.

[Cue music: “Red, red wine”]

[Scene 7: ] The pack has been to the airport and is now in Runs Wells’ father’s former place of work.  Flip Flop is made RA and is ensuring Returned Empty is receiving many down downs.  Offers for a place to sleep for Flip Flop upon returning to Phnom Penh are made.

[Cue music: “It wasn’t me”]

[Scene 8:]  The heavens have opened and the pack has fed.  Runs Well declares that the pottery tour is cancelled due to the onslaught of rain and jumps onto his motor bike to battle with the elements.  Abuser files an official complaint to the constitutionally approved Hash Complaints Commission.  The HCC takes one look at the rain and finds in favour of Runs Well.

[Cue music: “Singing in the rain”]

[Closing Scene:] screen shot of a dilapidated Cambodian bus slowly gathering speed down Highway 5, approaching warp (60kmph) and then brakes to a screeching halt.  Spillage attempts to leap from the bus to urinate but is restrained by unseen hands.  Bus reaches warp and streaks into the distance.

[Cue music: “Star Trekkin’”]

and…… cut

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