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The Muscle Wine Drinking Club With a Slimy Dyke Problem

Archive for November, 2007

P2H3 – Run #824 Bokor Outstation Hangover Run

Posted by p2h3hashtrash on November 30, 2007

Bokor Hash Outstation Logo Recovery Run Map

Date: 25/11/2007

Hares: Dog on Heat, Rubbed Raw, Wide Angle (walk)

Walk/Run Report: Wide Angle / Rubbed Raw

Sunday morning brought with it a gentle stroll for the walkers (colossal hangovers notwithstanding) up to the Wat and back. Another chance for photography, particularly as once there we met not a monk but a monkey; once again Danger Mouse had to be refrained from interfering with the fauna, the fauna in question was happy to refrain from interfering with Squints Westwards in return!

The hares of the run set off on mountain bike in an attempt to stay ahead of the eager (far too eager with messages expressly given to Blah Blah by the Hare to delay by 30 mins ignored!) and not seemingly hungover enough hash pack. The Run like the walk headed towards the Bokor Pagoda, and with their basically being only one road there and back, that’s what they returned on too!! The frantic hare, Rubbed Raw, threw is mountain bike around in a vain attempt to stay ahead of the pack whilst setting the rest of the run, after the run caught the hares at the pagoda. A cunning diversion around the reservoir seemed to do the trick, and the hungover hashers returned refeshed after a good sprint home.

All were so subdued by the previous night’s revelry that there seemed to be no sins to punish and so no circle was convened. Shame!! Derision of duty Mr G.M. What is the world coming to?!

There was rumour of a waterfall mini-hash on the way back down the mountain but reports are sketchy as some cowardly laggards got bored and turned back halfway for the shade and comfort of the G.M.’s truck. The bike hash ride down was much more fun beating all four wheel vehicles down, despite Leaking Duck’s attempt to run one of them off the road down a ravine – he is competive that duck! Mr Tinkle gets best effort award for falling three times of his motorbike on the way down!

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P2H3 – Run #839 Bokor Outstation Run

Posted by p2h3hashtrash on November 30, 2007

Bokor Hash Outstation Logo Bokor Hash Run GPS

Date: 24/11/2007

Hares: Blah Blah, Blackout, STD (walk)

Run Distance: ~6km (but very hilly!)

Walk Report: Wide Angle

There are not words to express the experience of the Bokor road – we were all there, there’s no need to dwell on it, it has left physical and psychological scars on many (better to cycle up it! RR). Suffice to say that experience is enough to wipe the smile from anyone’s backside! After three hours of the Bokor Bounce we had the opportunity to prove that our limbs could still function and scrambled off among the eerily beautiful ruins of French Colonialism. The walkers were lead out by S.T.D. and Fester, the pack gamely hanging back so as not to intrude on their private party, or be deafened by Fester’s dulcet tones as he urged us ever onward, in fact the more he urged, the more we lagged, curious. We believe he could be heard back in the docks!

The usual discipline of the walking hash was abandoned as disparate groups picked the sites they wished to see and in which order, Tokyo Joe was last seen heading off alone into the jungle muttering something about a triangulation point – working on the Hash we suspect?! As far as the eye could see there were red shirts swarming across the broad green shoulders of Mt Bokor, runners and walkers reuniting on the edge of the world, in the casino, at the church and finally at the eski-free zone of the Down-Down.

Run Report: Rubbed Raw

Hills are not something the average PP Hasher encounters on a regular basis, so the pack set off with some trepidation. Hares Blah Blah and Blackout had evil grins on their face as they set off earlier in the day, with the opportunity to provide some pain to the runners. And that they did. The sound of Grand Old Duke of York (“they marched them up to the top of the hill, and they marched them down again!”) was ringing in many a hashers ear as the trail took the pack up the ankle breaking rocky trails, only to be sent down leg breaking steps, then up to whole body breaking precipaces at certain points! The many rock-ledge hold points, tempted many a struggling backmarker to throw certain FRBs of the said ledge in an attempt to slow them down!

Coming together eventually with the walkers, a sea of red could be seen, courtesy of the T-shirts provided by Stool Boy’s company ‘The Secretary’ on the cliff edge. More flounting of technology abuse rules, as the happy snappers took shots of the rare sight of a mountain on a P2H3 hash run! A last sprint ensued to the Bokor Casino where hashers were slightly disappointed not to be rewarded with a beer, but no matter, the scenery and exploring the eerie ruins kept the hashers amused for hours.

A last hammer down the ankle breaking path or leg breaking steps took the runners back to the accomodation where many warm Angkor beer down downs where ‘enjoyed’, “It tastes worse warm” was the resounding cry! A memorable circle, if I could remember it! All hashers then looked forward to the evening party festivities. Cold temperatures and cold beer on the Casino patio was promised, and not a can of Angkor to be seen! only Mekong whiskey!

A top hash in a fantastic location, everyone had a top day and night which will not be forgotten in a hurry by those brave enough to attempt that road! Well done Check Around for great organisation

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P2H3 – Run #838 Les Manguier Full Moon Run

Posted by p2h3hashtrash on November 30, 2007

Bokor Hash Outstation Logo GPS Map Track

Date: 23/11/2007

Hares: Sarsy, StoolBoy, Little Miss Muffet

Run Report: Rubbed Raw

A trip to the beach is not the most common activity after a skinful of beer and food, but this is exactly what the hares, Sarsy, Little Miss Muffet and Stool Boy had planned for those brave few (though many more than anticipated stepped up!) who ventured on the Full Moon Hash. This hash was scheduled to be on the night beforebut due to typical P2H3 apathy this did not happen. But all the better for those who turned up later the Saturday as it proved to be a more appropriate a night for it anyhow with the earlier festivities of dancing children and Flacido’s rants.

Headtorches on like a bunch of welsh coal miners, the intrepid pack headed off, eyes adjusting to the night, stomachs full of food and beer adjusting to exercise (though not quite as quickly!) Well marked large spots were in front of the blinking eyes of the hounds to guide them forward into the night. Runs Well encouraged the pack over the numerous water ditches with a bit of a push, prod and a SHOVE sending the odd one sprawling. A very club sprited act!

After a few stomach churning, stitch inducing, dog bark attracting kms, the trail took a sharp right into softer surfaces . The hares had found what can only be described as an inland beach! Soft sand underfoot, made the running harder, a great workout for the calfs, and with the added bonus of reflecting the full moons light making tree avoidance possible for the first time. No cocktails, flame throwers or bikini clad maidens unfortunately on this beach. Many hashers lost previously on the trail, finally came together with the help of this beach light and Blah Blah’s dulcet tones! A couple of barbed wire fence crossings later, the familiar cry of dogs, a familiar trail and Stool Boy awaited the pack inviting them on back to Les Manguier.

Runs Well, Dog on Heat and Rubbed Raw among others could not resist the opportunity for a midnight race back along the now well known road to the beer. A hard run really tested the toughness of hashers pushing through the stitch which was now full force! Once all were back the rest of the evening was more about finding the stash of Anchor’s rather than drinking the putrid piss that calls itself Angkor Beer. A great run, and possibly a circle, which the scribe has no recollection of – that beer had clearly gone to his head with that drunken running!

ON ON!!

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P2H3 – Run #837 Kampot Outstation Walk

Posted by p2h3hashtrash on November 30, 2007

P2H3 Logo

Date: 23/11/2007

Hare: Two Hands, Runs Well

Walk Report: Wide Angle

The last thing those of us who had the good fortune to be transported to Kampot by snail power, expected was to start the walking hash before we even reached our destination. The great Gispert was smiling on us however and our luck was in! We were given feet-on experience of the Cambodian road system as we were merrily decanted from our luxury tour bus to enable it to traverse a particularly fine bridge and some of the more interesting sections of the scenic lane that lead to Les Manguiers. So keen were some of the passengers to begin the weekend hashing activities that they couldn’t be persuaded back into the coach at its near-final resting place and eagerly set off between the paddies with no clear idea of where they were heading and without so much as a hint of a trail mark to guide them – in the finest p2h3 tradition!

Having spent a scant 6hrs aboard that sweet chariot, few felt the need for a refreshing stroll and those unfortunate members who had to make their own, less eventful, way south were, by now, suffering beer-separation anxiety. There was a general consensus of lassitude and the proposed moonlight hash was deferred until the following night (despite the best efforts of Stool Boy & Little Miss Muffet).

On Friday, following the finest display of boating prowess this side of the water festival, p2h3’s finest crammed (some still dripping – causing Danger Mouse to remark on the dampness of her shorts having spent the journey next to Flacido) into myriad trucks and were transported to the far reaches of Kampot. Whence, we wandered through some of the more interesting suburbs, past the high-security prison, complete with children and goats, and out into the surrounding agriculture. The countryside around the town is truly picturesque and afforded many photo-ops of the verdant paddies dotted with sugar and date palms (not to mention some of the best trail marks ever seen by p2h3 walkers, we’re unused to this).

Our path lead us past stilt houses, through the Cham village where Danger Mouse had to be dissuaded from shopping on the Hash – she was offered a particularly cute kitten. This delay meant that some of the walking stragglers caught up with the running stragglers in time to witness yet another shocking example of the “Insider job”, whereby the aforementioned took advantage of the rolling halfway, boarded her S.U.V and disappeared, with a well-practiced royal wave, among the fishermen’s cottages of Kampot Docks. Running Hash, yes, Walking Hash, all well and good, but THIS TRUCKING HASH MUST BE PUT TO A STOP!

All were safely reunited at the Down-Down in time to witness a spectacular sunset over the Kampot River and the distant Mt Bokor, not before some of the more heinous sins were duly punished, odd how there seem to be more when away from home…

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P2H3 – Run #837 Kampot Outstation Run

Posted by p2h3hashtrash on November 29, 2007

P2H3 Logo Run #824 Kampot GPS Track Click for enlargement (ooh err missus)

Date: 23/11/2007

Hares: Runs Well, Two Hands

Run Report: Rubbed Raw

Distance:~ 8km

Possibly the most beautiful hash run this year (in Kampot) was the cries from the circle after finishing this run of many sites, sounds and athletic highlights! As the sun set over the returning fishing fleet, the circle reflected on what was a great run, of course not missing the opportunity for a group photo.

The run started after a mornings boat racing where general chaos and pandemonium in organising over 40 P2H3 participants (“like hearding cats” – Blah Blah) the racing ennded up remarkably well and a sporting spectacle of all things good in sport – cheating! Flying Plod being the biggest culprit with the ramming and holding back technique to rob Team “Chouk Chey” of their deserved victory!

Setting off around the streets of Kampot, the P2H3 soon left the urban setting behind as the trail took the hashers into the chest high rice fields. An amazing setting, one not to be missed for exposure again by Mr Tinkle (was it a hash slash or just general excitement at the scenery – over quickly but that’s a common problem we hear!).

Following on from the sporting events of the morning, there was another event still to be completed – that of the muddy stream long jump. Stepping up first was Rubbed Raw, who impressed onlookers with his tremendous speed on the run up, only to go horribly wrong when the take off slide of over a metre, and sideways jump landing flat in the stream followed! Not to be outdone Mr Tinkle (now relieved) took off closely behind without the same take off problems, only to land with amazing grace as he slid over a metre on landing but still remained upright! Keeping up the cheating theme the rest of the Hash followed crossed using a piece of wood!

The run finished with a fantastic riverside road blast to enjoy the sights and sounds of the Kampot fishing communities. PP hashers enjoying a river that didn’t smell like a sewer, covered in litter like any PP riverside! Dog on Heat managed to go for an additional detour, confused by incorrect On Back calls by Blah Blah in a blatant attempt to beat the FRBs back to the truck by sending them up the wrong road!

The circle was the most scenic one, beside the river, with only the fishing fleet threatening to drown out the rants of GM Blackout and RA Blah Blah. Two Hands enjoyed a full double size potty when being caught missing the majority of the circle on a shopping trip. Blatant technology abuse was accepted when the sun set and P2H3 had become an amatuer photography club in the setting sun over the Kampot River.

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P2H3 – Run #823 Suburban, Monkey, Fester!

Posted by p2h3hashtrash on November 20, 2007

P2H3 Logo GPS Map Track

Hares: Festering Chronic Masturbator, Maxfli

Date: 18/11/2007

Distance: ~9km

The most overused phrase in the Hashing fraternity is “The First Rule of the Hash is there are no rules!” And this run was the living proof of that! The phrase may be true, but there are some ‘unwritten’ rules which actually should be followed when Haring all of which were challenged this weekend as follows:

  • Avoid tarmac and traffic at all costs.
  • Telling Hash participants at the beginning that the halfway point was the same place as the start/finish
  • Marking the trail with more than 1 dot per km run!
  • Having an On On On venue outside the average budget of most Hash participants (unless working for the World Bank, ADB or ANZ!)

But give Fester and Maxfli their due, ‘if there is no Hare there is no Hash’ (another overused phrase), and they stepped up to the fold when no one else was available. On the positive front though it was a good run if you were training for the Angkor Half Marathon because of the nice straight, sealed roads (as you can see from the map) you could get a good workout. That, and the heat of the day, with the early start made it a sweaty affair, especially for the poor Hash hound Percy!

The Hash pack was large with many foreign spies marking the beginning of the high tourist season. Even monkeys were laid on by the Ministry of Tourism to send the hash off from Check Around’s property on the peninsula just over the Japanese bridge. The rest remains tarmac, building sites, moto avoidance and river views. Though it was quite sad to see the cleared remains of the Cham riverside village which was cleared by Authorities a couple of weeks previously.

The Hash Circle was slightly longer owing to the light the close run provided. Many appeals from Tokyo Joe for Fester to drink from his rather nice Brogue shoes he was wearing were turned down by HE Blackout. A naming ceremony for the tall FRB Norwegian was performed on the new P2H3 Naming Mat, for whom the name Herring Choker was selected. Not the circle’s best ever naming effort, but the appropriate sexual innuendo was there, so that’s all that matters isn’t it?! A hearty Swing Low closed the circle.

The On On On was at Tell Restaurant, for which Hashers were requested to shower first, SHAME!! Please hares select venues where you can turn up sweaty, muddy, smelling as good as the Beung Kak lake without being turned away!

On On!

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P2H3 – Run #821 The Return of Fester!

Posted by p2h3hashtrash on November 13, 2007

P2H3 Logo

Date: 11/11/2007

Hares: Big Dipper & Sloppy Seconds

Run Report: Ikea

Hash pin-up Chronic Festering Masturbator (aka Unca Fester) slipped silently back into Phnom Penh for this run, held out at the Tiger Brewery.

Held out at the Tiger Brewery. Again. The Tiger Brewery.

It was dejavu-haven’t-I-seen-you-somewhere-before? all over again, as a terrible error by hares Big Dipper and Sloppy Seconds saw the Hash running in the same locale two weeks in a row. Unforgivable. The name subsequently attached to Sloppy Seconds was well chosen.

The big pack began strongly. Fester led us out, several enthusiastic virgins quivering with excitement and a number of returnees disgracing us with their presence. The trail ducked through banana plantations and dodged around gardens and, initially, all seemed well. The half-way point was reached in the grounds of a nearby wat.

However, the previous week’s hare, Flaccido Domingo, had left his little marks all through the area. The pack became confused. Front running bastards were frequently left sniffing up the wrong trail, checking at old checks, holding at old holds, being sent back by non-false trails. There was general agitation.

Not, of course, from Mr Tinkle who took the opportunity to do his weekly shopping. Among the booty picked up by Tinkle was a radish-type vegetable, the shape and demeanour of which would have made sailors blush and indeed, several virgins did swoon when it was later brandished rather wantonly in the circle by Leaking Duck. Punishments were handed out in the gathering dark; Ikea copped a shoe full of beer for new shoes. Religious Adviser Blah Blah — well versed in Hindu theology — reprimanded several more hashers for running within the same parish as cattle and for riding in the truck from the halfway point. This later crime is particularly egregious and needs constant watching.

ON ON ON.

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