P2H3 Hash Trash Blog

The Muscle Wine Drinking Club With a Slimy Dyke Problem

P2H3 Run #856 – Only for the Hardcore

Posted by p2h3hashtrash on May 16, 2008

Run Date: 11/05/2008

Hares: Flaccido Domingo, Josh, Naomi

Run Report: Mr Tinkle

Brief rain showers earlier in the day along with hangovers resulting from Saturday night’s excesses were enough to ensure a noticeable drop off in attendance for this week’s hash.  Conspicuous through their absence were Leaking Duck (last seen wondering the grounds of Duck Hall clutching a bottle of Veuve Clicquot), Tokyo Joe (last seen staggering towards his car) and Flying Plod (last seen being towed down the Tonle Bassac towards Vietnam).  

Taking charge this week was unstoppable hash hare Flaccido Domingo, with co-hares Josh and Naomi assisting.  From the station we traveled south out of town, through Ta Khmau, past Duck Hall, and to the start point near Setbou.

The preliminary formalities over, a somewhat jaded pack trotted off along the main road before turning off left towards the river at the first check.   It wasn’t long before any hope of remaining dry was dashed, as runners were forced to splash through the sandy edges of the Bassac river.  FRBs reaped the benefits of being at the head of the pack when the time came to climb the steep river bank, which quickly turned into a muddy slipway.

Back ‘up top’, we soon reached the first holding check, where Runs Well was waiting for us with incriminatingly dry and clean feet, having short cut most of the first stage.  Most hashers had at this point lost the will to go on, and hare Flaccido had to use all his powers of leadership to get the lackluster pack back up and running.

During the next stage, it became clear that the hares were attempting to claim some new hash records including those for; longest ever distance between a hold and the first mark; longest ever distance with no marks; longest ever false trail.  Picking up the main road, a 300 metre run-in took us to the halfway point where our beloved hash truck was waiting to refresh us. 

Predictably, the second half took us back along the other side of the main road, the trail weaving its way west through a patchwork of gardens and small holdings.  A dire lack of markings in the latter stages of the run guaranteed that the pack spread out to such an extent that most hashers struggled on under the illusion of running alone.  In the end, it was Mr. Tinkle and Mindy who made it home first, only to be accused later by Runs Well of short cutting the final leg.

 After allowing ample time to guzzle down a couple of cans of delicious Anchor beer, G.M. Blah Blah convened the circle, in which the first item of business saw the hash welcome several virgins and two foreign spies from Koh Samui, Thailand.  Welcomed back as returnees were Sir Walter, Barley Able and – for reasons only known to Bronco Buster – Just Add Beer, who hasn’t missed a run in weeks.

 The aforementioned Just Add Beer then took over as stand-in RA., and oversaw punishments for a variety of crimes including short cutting by Runs Well & Mr. Tinkle.  Local hashers discovered that a lack of understanding is no defense in the eyes of the law, when they had their charges of truck riding and food shopping read to them in the vernacular – jee laan and ding mahoob cried the mob. Festering Chronic Masturbator was then tackled by the circle on the matter of his new hash shorts; the whereabouts of which remain a mystery.

Recently erected G.M. Blah Blah then decided that the time had come to award Anna Marie with the dubious honour of a hash name.  Anna Marie was ushered into the circle and the G.M. invited suggestions from the crowd.  Several proposals worthy of consideration were made including Ambassador’s Orifice and Comes Bi-Anally, only to be pooh-poohed, however, by the ever more present namby-pamby element of our hash, in favour of something so embarrassingly lame that I cannot even bring myself to report it.  Forgive them, Gispert, for they know not what they do!

With day all but having given way to night, there remained just time enough for another beer or two before mounting up and returning to the city.  This week’s on on on was held at Pasteur restaurant.

On On

Note: Hash Trash would like to commend Mr Tinkle again on a first rate report. The powers of technology have even allowed this report to be added to the blog in deepest darkest Vietnam Central highlands,  where HT will remain for this weekend and miss run 857, so will need someone to write a report please!

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3 Responses to “P2H3 Run #856 – Only for the Hardcore”

  1. Blackout said

    Excellent run report Mr. Tinkle!

    I’m sure the name was much lamer than Tinkle Spinner as well!

  2. Mr. Tinkle said

    Hi Blackout, Yes, much, much lamer! Never mind, we did a bit better on the naming front this week – details coming here soon, no doubt.

  3. Ikea said

    Damn good journalism this Mr Tinkle. Nice work.

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