P2H3 Hash Trash Blog

The Muscle Wine Drinking Club With a Slimy Dyke Problem

Archive for July, 2008

P2H3 Run #869 – Hello Sailor!

Posted by p2h3hashtrash on July 30, 2008

Date: 27/07/08

Hares: GM Blah Blah, Ikea

Run report: Ikea

Election Day 2008 and the Kingdom swelters under a booze ban.

Thank heavens for the Law of the River (1724), an antique unrepealed statute granting exemption from political concerns to the thirsty riparian traveller. The Hash can proceed unmolested extempore ad nauseum.

From the Railway Station across to Chruoy Changvar and we board the fair cutter Paris 1 and her sister sloop Paris 2. Beermaster Flaccido has taken good precautions to secret the rum rations. Fester has his best shorts on out of respect. No sign of Seaman Staines. Of Pugwash fame. And then the flag is hoisted and off we cruise to the far side of the Mekong where Hares Ikea and GM Blah Blah have laid a trail.

It is a short and comfortable passage and soon the virginal ones are offered up and the trail explained. ‘Short’ is the word, but no one seems to believe it. In truth, the walkers have not been fantastically catered for. Perhaps they won’t notice. Sorry walkers.

The checks work a treat in the early riverbank section. Vegas Simon gambles on a check and loses. The odds are against you as an FRB. Phlegm notes a pagoda in the distance and feels its tremendous spiritual magnetism pull him in, shortcutting can only result, but he resists. Two rude bridges are approached. Many hashers later praise the structural powers of bamboo. One hash splash is recorded, sadly not on film.

We emerge out onto the road. Here be dogs. Landlubbers beware. Possibly the nastiest pack of cerberus’s this side of the river. At last, a hold and it is here that Grump provides stretching advice to a female hasher, advice that would make a sailor blush. Out of the hold Runs Well and Wanna Cracker plough off the wrong way to the delight of this Hare, and they find themselves at the tail of the pack as it enters an extremely picturesque area of orchards.

At the second hold Flaccido Domingo commits an unnatural act with a tree. Unnatural for the tree, natural for Flaccido. Luckily, Hash Flash Yap Yap was on the spot. The second half of the run continues through lychee trees and back out onto the road for a good fast finish. Wanna Cracker sprints in to find Runs Well into his first beer and the walkers back a good ten minutes already. We told you it was short.

Expect hijinks when sailors go on shore leave and consequently the punishment session is long and grave. The many Cambodians with dirty forefingers are praised and punished for voting, as are those who failed to exercise their democratic responsibilities – eg Paulette, shame. Stand in RA Flaccido, sporting a new Garmin on his wrist, is rightly ruthless with a plague of technology abusers and all are keelhauled. Foreign Spies are called forward, Excellent Choice is asked to account for the hysterical sodomising loose in Malaysia. He puts up naught defence under the mildest questioning. Down Down to Fester for swinging between the run and the walk. Down Down to Flaccido for what he did to that tree, probably will be in the next Global Witness report. On by one the sailors take their lashes. Self-reported Down Down to GM Captain Blah Blah for again interrupting his own circle to indicate a sunset. ‘Get of the grass’ is the call from the stern.

Adventures don’t end there. The two boats meet difficulty pulling out of a lee shore. Weed has tangled the rudder. We could go down in five inches of water. With most of the crew in no fit state, Comes Anally gives some advice. But old hand Flying Plod says no need to panic until the beer runs out. Right he is and after a nice delay we are on the voyage home. Last vision of this hash was Little Boy, Plod, Blah Blah, Yap Yap dancing a hornpipe on the prow to the tune of The Macarena.

The on on on was at the Rising Sun.

ON ON

Posted in Run Report | 1 Comment »

Erection ’08: Road to the Hash House

Posted by p2h3hashtrash on July 29, 2008

Anyone viewing members of the Hash Committee drunkenly Macarena their way across the Mekong on the prow of a riverboat last Sunday evening might have wondered how it is that the Hash continues to function in the face of so much individual dysfunction.

How do these clowns know how many runs I’ve done? How do the drinks just appear there in the truck? Where do the Hares come from? How can I take that wooden phallus home?

Obviously there are a few people working (not very hard admittedly) behind the scenes to make sure there is a run and a walk every week.

Once a year we have erections for places on the mismanagement committee.

This year the erections are mooted for 31 August.

None of the roles take much time, all are easy and some are even enjoyable. Spot the lie in that sentence. But note that you don’t need to have been in PP since the year dot to be a Committee member. Just talk with the peeps below and they will gladly tell you what they do…and then nominate you. Once installed on the committee, you have access to irregular meetings at the Velkommen inn, you become privy to a lot of secret Hash lore, and you get the special Hash Committee ringtone.

The roles for erection are described below, along with the incumbents.

*Religious Advisor (RA)

The Hash’s moral compass. Offers guidance and instruction to hashers. The RA notes any sins committed and metes out punishment, usually in the form of a down-down. The RA may invite other Hashers to  snitch on their colleagues. The RA is also solely responsible for the weather. (Talk to Rubbed Raw or Tokyo Joe among others).

*Hash Cash

The Hash accountant. Collects the run fees, money from clothing sales, pays the Hash Vehicle, pays out for the beer and drinks and generally balances the books. (Talk to Little Boy).

* Hash Beer/Booze

Buys the beer, soft drinks, water and ice and ensures that they get into the Hash Vehicle on time. Ensures that stock does not go missing. Keeps an inventory of stock. (Flaccido Domingo is your man).

* Hash Stats

Collects registration data at the Railway Station. Furnishes stats to the Hash Webmaster for uploading to the website. During the Circle, informs the GM and the RA of Virgins, Anniversariods, Returnees, Leavers, etc. (Phlegm is doing ATM).

* Hareraiser

Maintains the Receding Hareline, ie the list of Hares for upcoming runs. Informs the GM during the circle of next week’s hares.  In the event that Hares are not present, contacts them to remind them. Might also provide advice to new Hares or pair them up with an older hand (Talk to Mr Tinkle).

*Hash Haberdashery

Brings t-shirts and other hash paraphernalia to the run for sale. Also delivers stock/collects proceeds from retail outlets authorised by the MMC. Maintains an inventory of stock. Responsible for production of any t-shirt/paraphernalia to be sold on the Hash and for seeing that sponsor’s logo-display agreements are respected. (Madame Ovary or Yap Yap).

*Hash Flash

Takes great photos and delivers them to the P2H3 main website. (Yap Yap)

*Hash Trash

Produces whatever form of Hash newsletter/pamphlet/magazine/communication they desire…Or just takes over this blog (Talk to Ikea or Rubbed Raw).

*Choirmaster

Leads the circle in singing, brandishes the ‘baton’ (Leaking Duck does this).

*Hash Webmaster/Bitch

Maintains, improves, generally does what they like with the main P2H3 website (Talk to Squint Westward if you can catch him, or Checkaround for advice).

**Thanks to Tokyo Joe for the notes this was cribbed from.  Committee members pls comment if we’ve missed anything here.

Posted in Announcements | 9 Comments »

Run #868 – Water water everywhere and not a BEER to drink

Posted by p2h3hashtrash on July 24, 2008

Run date: 20/7/08

Hares: Phlegm, Fabien

Run report: Blah Blah

And as the rain issued forth the pack raised its weary arms to the sky and cried out in great alarm “where fore art thou, beer truck, for we are thirsty and unable to stomach this nectar from the Heavens. We requireth the nectar of the Gods which issues forth from cans.” And they wept. [Hops 13:13]

It was a wet pack that arrived at the site of the run, a couple of kilometres down the turn-off to Takeo as a decent rain had descended on the exposed pack on the truck (who had by and large failed to purchase the excellent hash ponchos available at your local haberdashery). The hares Phlegm and Fabien had warned several hashers prior that irrigation ditch crossings would result in soggy feet (allegedly the reason for Tokyo Joe’s absence) however this proved a moot point as the rain came down with undue enthusiasm to completely saturate the pack from the beginning. Little did we know that this would constitute the driest part of the run for the day.

It was off into the soggy paddy fields though and by the first halt the pack was huddled together with lightening striking about the place with gay abandon. It was at this point that GM Blah Blah began to regret his decision to carry the decidedly copper bugle. There was much enthusiasm with the checking with Ikea and Runs Well in particular plunging into the rushing waters whenever possible. The paddy did prove somewhat treacherous though with Kate and Wide Angle both guilty of straddling dykes and Taku Yamaguchi managing to lose the soles of both his shoes. Fortunately the trail was well marked and the pack stayed together though the sodden and struggling Festering Chronic Masturbator was left behind for the walkers to collect.

The halfway proved to be wetter than the beginning and Bruce Larsen was quickly back into the running, obviously relishing the fact the family was back at home dealing with flood waters as best they may, as was Wannacracker who had finally found himself at the front of the pack after making a serious of poor judgements in the first half of the run.

A shorter return trip, again well marked, saw the sodden pack return to the pagoda to find……. no beer truck! The truck was waiting for some of the slower walkers at the half way and the running pack was getting restless. Some like STD sat down in despair and refused to come in from the rain whilst others such as Frog Touch/Ambassador’s Orifice placed subtle pressure upon the driver to contact his wayward vehicle. Even Blitzkreig was driven to stand on the rain flooded highway and stare up the road in a despondent fashion. How could one be so thirsty with the air laden with liquid? Oh the humanity.

After 40 minutes the truck arrived and, after a near mobbing of the beer by the thirst craze running pack, the circle began. The main item of the day was fare welling hash stalwart Bronco Buster who was leaving for Frankfurt. There was much wailing and gnashing of teeth however eventually the pack settled and Phlegm bravely volunteered to fill in as hash stats until after the hash elections.

The skies deigned to soften their downpour for the circle and the pack was treated to a dry trip to the On On at Gasolinas where the pack put more effort into saying goodbye to Bronco. Sarsy and Check Around arrived for the affair in a rather sheepish fashion claiming that they were unable to make the run due to their efforts in saving an orphanage from rising flood waters; or something along those lines. Eventually the pack dispersed to dry off and sober up, or was that drink more and get wet? I can never remember.

When the truck arrived and the pack cried out, “where hast thou been, for we are parched?” And the walkers replied, “’tis not our fault, for we are slow and struggled in floods yonder.” And behold the skies cleared and beer issued forth. And they were glad. [Hops 13:14]

Posted in Run Report | 3 Comments »

P2H3 Run #867 — The Season of the Witch

Posted by p2h3hashtrash on July 15, 2008

Run date: 13/7/08

Hares: Kate, Tim, Rowena (walking)

Run Report: Kate

A dark, unholy spirit penetrated the hash, and though many virgins were sacrificed and much beer spilt, one hopes the gods were appeased.

Under the guidance of unofficial hare mentor Flaccido Domingo, novice hares Tim and Kate set the trail in Flaccido’s much-trod turf, Ronteang village, out near Kien Svay. One wonders if he hasn’t become a mythical figure to the residents, like the Yeti, stalking the country side with a can of spray paint. Hashers reported an uncanny sense of deja vu as they bounded down the trail, occasionally coming upon marks from hashes past. In a serpentine flash of red, Ikea was glimpsed exploring the false trails, which were either marked really well or not depending who you ask. At the many, many check-arounds, hashers were seen actually scratching their heads, never a good sign. And when the pack inexplicably ran off trail into a ranch, hash trash thought all hope was lost and we’d spend the afternoon bailing hay and branding cows. Luckily the gods took pity and set them back on course.

The second half went more smoothly. Attempting a new twist, the hares left crudely drawn pictures associated with hash names instead of dots to find the trail. Horny Cow, Milky Discharge, and Wide Angle were all represented pictorially, but to most the pictures just looked like a mess of white paint. Sarsy gave the hares a sound tongue lashing for making people think on the hash (heaven forbid). Eventually matters were sorted and the pack actually got to run for a bit.

The circle:

After Blah Blah managed to pry the pack off the swing set, the hares were toasted, the virgins sacrificed, and returnees interrogated. Foreign spy Eager Beaver, in a curious homemade bathrobe sporting hash patches from around the world, proved that maybe you can have too much of a good thing.

The flock was cast adrift with the absence of acting RA Rubbed Raw, but salvation arrived in the form of Tokyo Joe. The hares were scolded for their fashion sense, and Hit On Me punished for working her voodoo charms, bewitching several male hashers into making offerings of sugar cane juice to appease her.

Laverne, Sandy Crevices, Ikea, Ambassador’s Orifice, Nora, Tim, Kate, all celebrated anniversaries and we bid a sad farewell to Isadora and Jean Michel.

Blah Blah sobered the crowd (not an easy task) with a dark, foreboding tale of the hash’s future without Bronco Buster: the beer will be homeless and the stats un-gathered, and urged some brave soul to fill her sneakers (if they don’t he warned they will be appointed in absentia).

In the naming rituals, Nora was dubbed The Thong Cheese Flasher, like some B-movie slasher. The naming of the tree-banging reach-arounding Royal D-soliciting April-fooled journo co-hare homosapien, ended in a poor farce and amid some Hash controversy, and it seems discussions may or may not continue in an attempt to squeeze more from the Hash’s immensely fertile creative capabilities.

The few hashers left standing for the on on on continued the pagan sacrament, washing their sins in beer and techno at the Golden Cabbage.

ON ON!!

Posted in Run Report | 3 Comments »

P2H3 Run #866 – In the Cross Hares

Posted by p2h3hashtrash on July 8, 2008

Run Date: 06/07/2008

Hares: Flying Plod, Mr Tinkle

Run Report: Rubbed Raw

After the weighty heights of last weeks Flaccido Hash, it was inevitable that the week following had a lot to live up to.  Trying to fill Flaccido’s shoe’s this week were Hash Fashion Guru Flying Plod and his weak bladdered cohort, Mr Tinkle.  Plod was wearing the trousers in this haring couple, with the instructions in his ears of a run close to town, and not too long, due to the planned entertainment at the On On On that night.

Down to the now familiar, over the Monivong Bridge, turn right down the side of the Tonle Bassac route, the swollen truck drove to the Naga holding Pagoda men.  This was the starting location for the famous Tiger Brewery tour and run still fresh in many a hashers mind (especially as the t shirts for the event were finally handed out this week!). Mr Tinkle marked the start in his usual way, with a sprinkle here a sprinkle there near the truck.  Rumours were abound that Mr Tinkle had stormed off during the previous day’s haring in disgust so Hashers already had a sense of foreboding what the run was to bring!

The run set off at quite a pace, after a sprint through the pagoda, the fresh legged Wanky Yanky found the trail. This blistering pace was not to reduce, or be halted until four kilometres later, where GM Blah Blah had had enough, and called an impromptu Hash Hold.  The Hash pack was spread out in all directions with probably a 10 minute difference between first and last.  Some had gone the wrong way even virtually going full circle arriving at the original pagoda, such was the confusion of the marking (or lack thereof) on this day.  Eventually the Hash Truck was found, with all the FRB‘s puffing hard (especially Two Hands) due to the fast pace, but not puffing as much as STD, who was suffering greatly, despite not being on the piss the night before.

The return trail was much better marked to a point, with better scenery and nice embankments to run along. A sense of déjà vu however soon reached the pack, as a the out trail was reached again, and seemingly no trail following mistakes were made.  Hasher’s waited for the Hare’s eagerly hoping to be put right, but no, it was a case of cross trails and the return was back along the same road to the Pagoda.  But the FRB’s weren’t complaining, it was a chance to ‘blow the pipes’ and head for home as hard as your hungover body would cope.  With no marks, checks or false trails to distract them, this was FRB heaven!

The circle was a memorable one, due to a certain foreign spy, the Crazy German.  Memorable for his comment, on asked whether he would return, he replied yes, because the local feline population was very good!  Cat owners in the circle were appalled for letting out such an admission.  He was later to pay for such insolence to our furry friends, by drinking from a virgin’s shoe!  Mr Tinkle paid for his shirking of haring responsibilities and was voted ‘Prick of the Week’.  American Hashers celebrated their Independence Day with a Potty Drinking face off against the oppressing British Elite. Oh times’ haven’t changed so much, as the red’s trounced their rivals in beer drinking speed and finesse!

The On On On to say goodbye to Just Add Beer, was an excellent night, with plenty of good BBQ food, live music and frothy beer laid on by the P2H3.  So-long JAB, hope to see you soon on these fair shores again soon.

On On!

Posted in Run Report | 4 Comments »

P2H3 Run #865 – Skun Run To Remember Dog on Heat

Posted by p2h3hashtrash on July 7, 2008

Hares: Runs Well, Wannacracker and Sarsy

Date: 5/7/08

Run report: Ikea

This Saturday marked 100 days (or near enough to) since our good friend and FRB Dog on Heat sprinted off into the sunset calling ‘On On and Up’ over his shoulder. About 15 hashers made it up the highway to Skun for the opportunity to pay respects at his gravesite.

It was damn warm out there in the fields. Running in the 11am sun at this time of year is for the dogs — though even the dogs were too sunstruck to attack with their normal gusto. Thoughtfully, Hares Sarsy, Wannacracker and Runs Well laid a short 5km dash, taking us around the brick kilns, through the fields and small lakes (with much leaping and squelching) and then back to the beer via a well-judged holding at Dog on Heat’s resting place. Apparently, in laying the trail, Sarsy had been lucky not become someone’s bitch in the local clink as his spraypainting attracted the attention of the gendarmerie (the charge: crop poisoning).

Back at the cars, formalities took place in the scant shade offered by a single palm tree. RA Rubbed Raw was in a benevolent mood or just befuddled after cycling the 80kms to Skun. When Dog on Heat proved unwilling or unable to join us for his down down, his potty was handed on to Runs Well. Walking terrorists Sandy Crevices and Lois received punishment for carelessly destroying a fish trap. The gaggle of curious local kids covered their ears during the hash songs (the lyrics were fine, it was the tune they found offensive). ‘You sure are no Krum Ngoys’, shouted one of the mini critics. GM Blah Blah then offered up a few short words (thanks be to God he doesn’t know any long ones!) concerning the occasion.

The group then adjourned to a Skun restaurant to swill the remainder of the beer and inspect the insect and spider situation. The live tarantulas are looking yummy yummy in my tummy and the cricket harvest seems to have been very strong this year. Good news.

ON ON

Posted in Event Hash, Run Report | 3 Comments »

Dog on Heat (Pisey) Memorial Run, Skun, Saturday 5th July

Posted by p2h3hashtrash on July 1, 2008

In memory of Dog on Heat (Pisey), P2H3 will be holding an outstation run in Skun this weekend to mark the 100 days ceremony. This run is being hared by Run’s Well. The details are as follows:

Place: Skun, Pisey’s relatives house (at Skun take road to Kampong Cham, cross 2 bridges, and then turn Right at a pagoda archway (maybe 1km or less out of town) which will hopefully be marked)

Time: 11am

Date: Saturday 5th July

Transport: Arrange your own, or contact Flaccido Domingo on 011 200429 before Wednesday as he may arrange a minibus if there are enough numbers. Everyone will return to PP that afternoon.

Click on the Dog on Heat photo montage (put together by Sarsy) to see full size image

It would be great if you could make it and have a big pack for this important run!

On On!!

Posted in Announcements, Outstation Hash | 3 Comments »

P2H3 Run #864 – Flaccido Domingo Nears Haring Nirvana!

Posted by p2h3hashtrash on July 1, 2008

P2H3 Logo Nirvana Hash Trail

Run Date: 29/06/2008

Hares: Flaccido Domingo, Piglet (walk)

Run Report: Rubbed Raw

I think it is fair to say that some of Flaccido’s previous haring attempts have been shall we say, less than average, but today was living proof that practise can make perfect.  On a rain threatened Sunday, the Phnom Penh Hash witnessed near Nirvana reaching perfection in haring (on a relative scale of course!)!  P2H3’s Nigerian exile could hardly put a foot wrong this day, despite being rudely let down by his virgin Co-Hare Nora, calling off sick on the Saturday morning, with the dubious excuse of drinking  too excessively the night before with Slovenians (or was that Slovakians?)  She didn’t even turn up to the run, such was her shame!

Now Hash Trash, as regular readers would be aware, feels revulsion at heaping any praise on a week’s haring effort.  This weekend HT was looking forward to a good bout of sarcasm for the often erratic marking of Flaccido based on his past performances.  But as the run started, and continued in an area south of the Tiger Brewery, the disappointment mounted for the HT scribe.  The trail was just too well marked to able to attract the usual HT scorn and criticism!  Bar the odd missing false trail cross (which haring on his own he can be forgiven) and the excessive amount of cows (not something he could have foreseen) it was clear that Flaccido had brought more than one tin of paint, and was not afraid to use it!!

The trail took an interesting route of well worn paths, through pig sty’s, over landfills, across barbed wire fences, and finally over picturesque bridges, it was indeed a pretty and shady run of good length and interest.  The pack this week lacking many of its FRB’s, meant that Horny Cow often led the pack and many a virgin had to step up to the FRB mark.  Blitzkrieg teleported himself around the trail as ever, and even the tracksuit clad Flying Finn picked up a turn of speed on occasion, when the omnipresent herd’s of cows would let him!

At the finish the walk and run nearly arrived in unison, despite virtually all the runners foolishly turning the wrong way on the last check right beside the pagoda, everyone made it back relatively unscarred, and cheering a great run/walk!  The circle was formed, with Rubbed Raw acting GM, and Love Bite acting RA, and everyone else just acting as if they were interested, as the pair babbled their random musings in the centre!  Many virgins were again welcomed, some foreign spies from Sydney and Cambridge, graced us, and even Sarsy bothered to return this week!  The Hare was congratulated for a great run, and the RA had to ‘save the sole’ of the aforementioned shoe-stricken Finn (told you he was running fast!).  Notable anniversaroids at 160 runs were Blitzkrieg and someone else (please help Hash Stats!)

The On On On, was also not to disappoint in Flaccido‘s sterling haring performance for the day!  Arrangements with Huxley’s ‘Brave New World’ had been made, and over 25 stinky hashers made it to one of the most civilised venues the hash has ever witnessed!  Great food, and good service and Flaccido’s never ending attention to the Hash’s well being made for a great end to the day.  Flaccido was even serenaded “He’s the meanest, He sucks the horses…”, such was the level of ecstasy the Hash crowd had reached, and he even received an encore!  Will the Flaccid one ever reach such dizzy heights again one wonders?!  Ah Nora, all this praise could have been your’s to revel in too…had you bothered to turn up! Those damn Slovakian’s!

HT will now head straight for the nearest WC, so nauseous is he after writing so much praise in one report!  A worthy Outstanding Haring category HT is sickened to award! Future hares take notes!

On On!

Posted in Outstanding Haring, Run Report | Leave a Comment »

P2H3 Run # 863 – The Second Annual Red Dress Run

Posted by p2h3hashtrash on July 1, 2008

P2H3 Hash Trail Red Dress Run Lady in Red Red Dress Runners

Date: 28/6/08

Hare: Bronco Buster

Run report: Ikea

About thirty runners and walkers flounced down to the post office for the start of Red Dress Run 2008. This, the second of the RDRs in P2H3 history, seems likely now to be an annual (note the correct spelling there) fixture on the Hash calendar. Around $160 was collected for Friends NGO.

Hare Bronco Buster, a vision in her lacy halloween-inspired frock, has been a vigorous promoter of the red dress run and this year she prepared for us a tour of the capital’s charities. The runners began with a circuit of Wat Phnom, where fine trumpet work from Milky Discharge (looking frankly monstrous in a little girl’s dress with a front pocket for the beer) made Sambo the elephant uneasy. The head scratching over the route then began at the first station. The charities were difficult to recognise (the CPP is a charity, eh?) or find when the street addresses on the worksheet did not compute with the actual situation on the ground as we found it in 2008. We all started off with pencils and paper but most threw them away and let conscientious student HE GM Blah Blah do all the filling-in.

One problem with the recent police crackdown on girlie bars and naughty dealings in the capital is that it forces individuals like Little (lady)Boy out onto the streets to take their chances. His curvaceous (possibly enhanced) red figure and flowing locks all topped by a glorious floral sun hat, was very NOW and attracted plenty of attention, turning inevitably to groping by motodops driven into an uncontrollable sex-frenzy. Madame Ovary was for once put in the shade by her counterpart and was reported to be wild with jealousy over Little Ladyboy’s suitors. As the only frocked up male on the walk it was truly a walk of shame by LB, so – respect.

The runners were almost all as beautifully turned out (Horny Cow, Kate and a virgin even managed to look as if a red dress was a normal part of their running wardrobe) but moving faster there was less time for the populace to become aroused. Foremost may have been Wankee Yankee in a cheesecloth-inspired effort and a curly wig. While he surely made a very fugly lady, his attention to small details, like that red garter, won him many admirering stares. Yap Yap and GM Blah Blah had the same dresses tailored for the run, and if Yap Yap managed to look good and run at the same time, Blah Blah (also bewigged) came over like a washed up tranny from a 1970s glam rock band.

The running group was led as usual by Rubbed Raw. His slutty red form powered away and it was notable that he made no attempt to ensure the material didn’t ride up his thighs. When Thida (Herring Choker’s other half) was later seen wearing the exact same outfit, but as a TOP, Rubbed Raw’s shameless harlotry was revealed for all to see. At one stage, he decided to run away from the group, only to come slutting back for moral support when he realised that in the group there was some context to what he was wearing.

The runners were wilting like roses in the hot conditions (this is why we normally run in the countryside, cooler) and the half-way stop at Friends was extremely welcome. We sucked down some red watermelon and water before handing over the collected cash to the Friends representative. All agreed that shortcutting home along the riverfront to the beer would be the best decision (naturally Phlegm had already done this) in the course of which Mr Tinkle was seen at a pub, not wearing red and claiming to be sick.

The circle took place in front of Pontoon. Shoppers like Kate (book buying must stop on this hash), a sarong wearing Wide Angle and others were reprimanded. For the first time in many moons, serial litigant Flaccido Domingo won a case brought against another hasher, this time by relating Nora’s sloppiness at performing her haring duties. The evidence was undeniable, the crime heinous. Flaccido was then himself duly punished for his very strange African dress/sarong/shorts ensemble and joined in purgatory by Tim in his vaguely red torn up shirt skirt. No points for trying. A bunch of hashers (including Paulette, Laverne and Piglet) were down downed for sitting in the circle and then the merriment finally adjourned to the Velkommen inn on street 104.  There hashers were treated to an elightening DVD of the original San Diego Red Dress Run (thanks to Bronco). We can see that next year we must try harder to sink the Red Dress Run to even greater depths of depravity.

ON ON

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