P2H3 Hash Trash Blog

The Muscle Wine Drinking Club With a Slimy Dyke Problem

P2H3 Run #875 – But soft! What hash through yonder hash hashes?

Posted by p2h3hashtrash on September 9, 2008


Hare: Blah Blah

Report: Ikea

Are today’s Hashers soft? Discuss…

Veteran hashman Sid (275 runs) returned to the bosom of his mother Hash this weekend.  By halfway one leg was a mess of gore and blood and pus and mud.  When others (most likely those whom Mr Tinkle would dub ‘NGO-types‘) came at him with words like ‘infection’, ‘tropical ulcer’, ‘jumping Frenchman of Maine disease’ and ‘Doctor’, Sid just gave a wry laugh and washed the wound out with Anchor.

Exhibit B is the virgin Australian who ran until his hotel flip-flops blew out and then completed the trail in bare feet.  Illegitimate he may be, lacking a birth certificate – very probably, but say what you like, the young man has cojones (balls).

Contrast this with the farrago of lies and excuses bleated out by others.  I will let you guess which of Runs Well, Herring Choker, Mr Tinkle and Rubbed Raw made these comments: “I didn’t get much sleep last night, so bit tired…”, “I cycled 200 kms this morning, so wee bit tired…”, “Had a few too many beers last night, bit tired”, “I have an addiction to ice cream and junk food and I put on 8 kilos while overseas, very tired…”.

The cause of all this FRB whining was a fast, all-holds barred (ie, no holds at all) course laid by GM HE Blah Blah (re-erected last week with acclamation) and a blazing (and blatantly racist) run-in by Wanna Cracker.

After arriving in the luxurious comfort now afforded by the two-truck policy (I will say nothing of the luxury vehicles this week; one took me home after dinner) the trail took us out along dirt roads and contained plenty of tricks, notably the one along both sides of a canal which stymied shortcutting bastard and gambler Simon who calculated his odds and lost. Another who loses more often than he wins is the Phlegmish one. As usual he went off towards a distant pagoda of no relevance to the trail.

This territory near Toul Kork has not hosted a hash for some time, though Blitzkrieg recalls setting a run from the same pagoda.  Good weather, good trail.  The walkers trickled in not too far behind the runners.

Circle work:

Newly erected Assistant GM Milky Discharge blows a fine horn. Big ups. But he also introduced and dealt with the virgins in excellent and very amusing style.  Once he learns ‘the GM leprechaun hop’ and the Cossack dance he will be the complete package. Watch this man.

I had predicted a reign of terror from ambitious new RA Flaccido Domingo in the circle but he was restrained.  He seems to have strong moral views regarding nudity, though admittedly a topless Cums Anally in see-through white shorts and Fester’s lack of a shirt last week, were offensive sights and deserved punishment (check Hash Snaps if that kind of thing gets you off). Anniversaroid Sarsy was brought in for his down down.  A man of intrigue and mystery, that Sarsy.  Is he a runner of a walker?  We may never know. Otherwise, the naming of Yogi Bra was the big circle event.  The alternative suggestion of Pontificating Pilates was meritorious but lacked the x factor: a song.

Yogi, Yogi…



6 Responses to “P2H3 Run #875 – But soft! What hash through yonder hash hashes?”

  1. Blah Blah said

    in the forest lives a bra,
    Yogi, Yogi,
    in the forest lives a bra,
    Yogi-Yogi Bra

  2. Rubbed Raw said

    Good Run, Great Report – back on form Ikea!

  3. Yogi Bra said

    Great report, thanks. Down down next week to anyone who needed a translation of ‘cojones’. I think I know why Simon had to leave Vegas. If the mafia ever figures out where Cambodia is he’s in trouble, good thing he runs fast…

  4. Phlegm said

    Blah Blah announced 7K for his trail but we can see that it was in fact more than 11K. And apparently some walkers ran because it was the same trail…(Sarsy is a runner and a f… smoker). The result is that some hashers had problems. I was harrased by Cums Annaly to find him a good MASSAGE. Late phone calls in the middle of the night. Finally, I send him to Tokyo Joe’s favorite one (The Chinese who makes green beers also…). Apparently, he survived.

  5. Blah Blah said

    “Blah Blah announced 7K for his trail but we can see that it was in fact more than 11K.”

    – insert evil laugh here –

  6. Love Bite said

    Take a look at the final picture on http://www.p2h3.com hash snaps page for this run #875. See link http://www.p2h3.com/Snaps/PhotoBrowser.asp?IDHashSnap=66.jpg&HRun=875
    Anyone noting Blitzkrieg’s hemline might be inclined to agree that it’s time for uniform guidelines…
    As a solution to this, um, revealing situation, I suggest a Hash Law stating that men may not wear shorts shorter than 20cm above the knee. By popular demand, it could be amended to state that women may not wear shorts longer than 20cm above the knee as well.
    Violators of this policy could be called up by our illustrious RA Flacido for a fashion violation and, in order to ensure that modesty is preserved in the future, have their shorts pulled down to the appropriate level while sitting on a bed of ice as punishment.

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