P2H3 Hash Trash Blog

The Muscle Wine Drinking Club With a Slimy Dyke Problem

Archive for June, 2009

P2H3 Run #915 – Short-cutting Inglorious Bastards of the Silk Trail

Posted by p2h3hashtrash on June 8, 2009

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Date:  31/5/2009

Hares:  Little Boy (run), Silicon Chip (walk)

Run Report:  Shoots Blanks

A good-sized crowd turned out for P2H3 run 915: after being introduced at the railway station to newborn Louise by proud parents, Phlegm and Chickpea, a quick crossing on the Mekong brought us to laid-back, phlegmatic and picturesque Silk Island, a name also synonymous with vicious dogs, horny mad cows and plenty of silk shopping on the go.

Special mention must go to able Little Boy who did a great job of setting up a trail all by himself such as mythical Sisyphus rolling tirelessly his burden. Overall a not so long run compared to last week 13Kms hell gymkhana: good running ground, great weather, numerous picturesque encounters such as ambling peasants and whole families jam-packed in Khmer-style stagecoaches feebly pulled by skinny, gentle donkeys.

It was a rather well marked run with many holds and check-arounds, some decently long on-backs which soon had Henrik, Scoutmaster, Herring Choker and Blah Blah doing extra kilometers. In fact a good portion of the pack got lazy near the end and quickly settled on a shortcut to the finish line; that’s how a bunch of short-cutting Bastards sneaked their way to the last leg of the trail to the fury of our unrivaled, glorious GM who on arriving later, promptly castigated the culprits.

Walk: Not a single walker was savaged by vicious dogs, chased by enraged horny mad cows nor attacked by wandering brigands.


Thanks to Runs Well who had brought a king sized keg, the pack ‘s gargantuan thirst was quenched by a steady flow of Munich draft beer.

The Down downs were the occasion to thank the Hare for a quite tropical and exotic run, up to the high standards we’ve become accustomed to these days.

As we didn’t have enough sex connoted names on the hash, the situation was quickly rectified as the circle saw Dusty anointed in beer and gleefully named Wet Shag.
Amazingly no short-cutting bastards (Half of the Pack) nor silk shopaholics, (Yogi Bra), were summoned to appear in the court of our fearsome, bellowing, inquisitive Religious Advisor, Flaccido Domingo, who instead turned his wrath to some other minor, petty misdeeds which I totally forgot.

A special award must go to STD, back as leading choirmaster, who once again stunned the gaping circle to the sound of a merry, raunchy serenade of his composition, Swing Low,  all the way energetically conducting the choir armed with his mighty wooden schlong which female hashers secretly venerate and accompanied by Lords of the dance Maynot and Blah Blah. As one Yogi poet once said in a previous run report, “everyone knows that Blah Blah is the Lord of the Dance on the hash, and will perform everything from the Russian Cossack dance to the pas de deux from Swan Lake with little or no encouragement”. A true great STD Kodak moment. (See picture above – worth of being shown on CNN I report or Play of the day).

Other things happened at circle: Sexaphone, Fritz ,Andrew , STD, Silion Chip returned to hash, and Flying Plod & Silicon Chip bid us farewell, the first to sunny Darfur, the later to faraway Perth.

Virgins included Bonnie, Aimee, Daniel, David,  Ali, Steve, Sompot.

Foreign spy: Just Checking (Dili)

Once again (jaded yawn) the pack marveled at a wonderful sunset over the Mekong, we finally closed circle as the bravest and thirstiest made their way back to the on on on: Munich Beer Garden, but that’s another story…

In other news:
Anniversaroidz: Tips – 40 runs, Bitch Volley – 20 runs


Posted in Run Report | 3 Comments »

P2H3 Run #914 – … and miles to go before we drink Anchor, and miles to go before we drink Anchor

Posted by p2h3hashtrash on June 2, 2009

harebrained sunset

available for $60 jeez those kids are fast

Date: 24/5/2009

Hares: Yogi Bra, Available for $60, Bitch Volley (run), Botticelli, Comes First (walk)

Run Report: Blah Blah

As the pack boarded the truck one hasher asketh of the hares, “how longeth is this run, for my legs are short and my stomach of not insignificant mass?” We know not, replied the hares, “for the GPS battery ran out before we finished though it was fully charged ere we set out.” [Hops 13:02]

Kambol. One must ask what it is about this place that sets a hare’s mind ablaze with visions of kilometer laden glory. Is it the broad open paddy fields with snakes and cattle peacefully co-existing? Perhaps it may be the distant vision of Phnom Bassat which creates marathonesque urges. Or is the buzz and hum of the go-kart track which feeds the combative spirit residing deep in the secret heart of the mildest yoga teacher/labour lawyer/facebooker? Whatever the reason the run was at Kambol, and that meant distance.

The run was set by the able trio of Yogi Bra, Available for $60 and Bitch Volley. It was a well marked run with some decently long on-backs which soon had Runs Well, Scoutmaster and Blah Blah doing many extra kilometers which they were profoundly thankful for. In fact Runs Well was so thankful he sought a short cut to the half-way and Little Boy so merry that he joined the walk.

Henrik soon joined the checking as did Ali though as the kilometers wore on and the sun beat down the enthusiasm waned. A prompt Nigerian witchdoctor dance and a couple of ecclesiastical curses from RA Flaccido soon righted things as the clouds covered the sun and the pack surged forward once more with Milky Discharge taking a leadership role with his mighty horn.

Botticelli and Comes First seemed to have lost the walkers at some stage leaving May Not and Hansel to lead those floundering souls through the all the obstacles and dangers that are normally associated with pretty green fields and small country lanes. Not a single walker was savaged by a vicious kitten, chased by an enraged chicken nor drowned in the dry paddy.

After a long run the pack sauntered back to the truck in remarkably good shape with the exception of Blitzkrieg who had gone AWOL. The pack signaled its great concern at his absence by promptly starting the circle and opening more beers.

The circle saw Kate B. named Available for $60. A special award must go to Mr. Tinkle who believed that Available for $60 was a mouthful. Luckily Tinkle Spinner was out of earshot at the time. Other namings included the Norwegian siblings Ilja and Kasper Brunette and Loki’s Toothpaste.

Once again the pack marveled at a wonderful sunset as we made our way back to the Golden Thatch where cold beer, good food and other distinctly ant-free cuisines awaited.

On On!

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