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Archive for August, 2009

P2H3 Run #925 – The Devil Wears Hash Gear

Posted by p2h3hashtrash on August 26, 2009

over the bridge not lost

river run santa claus

Date:  2/8/2009

Hares:  Yogi Bra & Check Around (run), Botticelli (walk)

Run Report:  Blah Blah

“I have a bag of clothes,” cried one hasher, “what shall I do with it?”

“Try putting on some pants,” declared the pack as one.  And he did, and all were relieved.  [Hops 13:06]

Another Sunday, another hash.  One could be lulled into believing that such a leisurely state of ennui indeed existed however hashes are like tax returns; no two are the same.  And thus it was for the Yogi Bra – Check Around inspired run.  Whilst I never managed to lay eyes on the actual GPS map of the run I remain rather confident that it contained a large middle-finger surrounding by a clenched fist.  What to make of this I wonder?

The hash also contained clothes.  ‘What?’ I hear you cry, ‘the hash normally contains no clothes?’  This has been a matter of serious debate and whilst mismanagement is generally in favour of naked running the sticking point seems to surround who should be allowed to run free of textile constriction and who, to not put too fine a point on it, we’d rather keep their shirt on.  But no, this was extra used clothing for some houses we ran past whose kids were a little short in the pants department.  Runs Well seemed to have missed said house with his bag of goodies however managed to off-load them onto some other unsuspecting impoverished families further up the track.  He remained curiously silent on the issue of how this unexpected windfall was received.

By this stage Toxic Flop and André, the man who needs a name, were showing what I considered undue enthusiasm and one cannot help but feel they had something to run from.  Henrik and Milky Discharge both claimed to be running poorly due to being sick.  What having twisted psyches has to do with feeble cardiovascular performance is beyond me however no doubt someone will explain it during an idle moment; such as at work.

After going up, and er, back, the pack eventually found itself at the ‘half-way’ (for want of a better term) where we discovered that Botticelli had become a runner and we’d misplaced Check Around.  Given that Botticelli was the walking hare and Check Around running hare the hash gathered in a quick huddle and made the decisive decision to do nothing about it and the consequences be damned.  Management at its most efficient.

The pack more or less came in as one with Little Boy enjoying the cooler air and Mr Tinkle showing the benefits of being a few streets removed from his favourite haunts.  Even virgin Isaac, the fate of whose moto remains unclear, was amongst the heaving and sweating pack as the truck loomed into view at the finish.

Thus we finally returned, moved the truck in front of a small food stand that had done nothing to warrant our intrusion and began the festivities.

The circle had its normal amount of well orchestrated, much rehearsed gag lines.  Number One made it to 100 runs without every running and Check Around must have returned eventually for he received a down down for 350 runs.  RA Flaccido Domingo was also the centre of the hash voodoo as the pack worked on fixing the religious tensions in Nigeria.  Much face slapping and beer consumption ensued and the mismanagement is quietly confident that the crisis will now ease.  I’ve sent off an email to President Umaru Musa Yar’Adua informing him that he can now relax and concentrate on the real issue facing the Nigerian nation; qualification for the 2010 World Cup in South Africa.

On On


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