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The Muscle Wine Drinking Club With a Slimy Dyke Problem

Archive for November, 2009

Run #943 – Phlegm’s Last Stand

Posted by p2h3hashtrash on November 24, 2009



Date : 22/11/09

Hare:  Phlegm (running), Chickpea & Brussel Sprout (walking)

Run Report:  Blah Blah

And the hare did remark unto the pack “halfway?  There be no stoppeth, for you must run to earneth the amber nectar of the Gods.”  To which the pack did reply, “how about halts then?”  And the hare did laugh, for there were but two. [Malt 3:02]

The previous night’s festivities at the Hash Ball appeared to have taken their toll upon the pack with Cuntsultant, Welcome In, Mr Tinkle and Tinkle Spinner conspicuous by their absence.  However some of the best dressed from the night prior, namely Flacido, Yap Yap, Little Boy and Herring Choker, managed to drag their beer addled selves to the train station though it should be noted that precious little of the flamboyance of the night before was evident.

It was to be Phlegm, Chickpea and Brussel Sprout’s last hash before they return to the land of Tintin, Smurfs and EU Presidents (one of these is not a fictional character….. currently the heavy betting is on the Smurfs).  Hence we were all expecting a ball breaker; a run that would grind the hardened souls of the hash into weak, submissive things more akin to morning show hosts than the Greek God-like athletes that we know we all are despite the careful layering of fat and good manners we employ to hide our true nature.  Instead on a cool day for running we had a brisk 9 km run with no halfway and only two holds.

No half-way?  Shakey Spear was the first casualty followed by Fester.  The first we were saddened by, the second relieved as the thought of Fester going 9km with a couple of breaks left a bad taste in the mouth of those of us who know CPR.

The run itself was actually rather picturesque.  By that I mean we had a number of rather attractive visitors come join our motley crew.  Oh, and the scenery wasn’t too bad either.  Little Willy and Toxic Flop enjoyed most of the front running with Herring Choker close behind.   Scoutmaster and Runs Well settled for a steady pace to better take in the, er, view.  Yogi Bra had decided to move away from the ‘underage-school-girl-look’ by discarding the long white socks and putting the now slightly less mangled leg on display.   John was undertaking a cracking pace though seem to somehow to avoid doing any checks which was something of a mystery and no doubt cause-belle for further investigation.   Ditto for Flip Flop who hates checking almost as much as he hates the ice; more to follow.

Enough of the run.  It was nice, there were pretty foreign girls running and apparently some guys though you’d have to ask Hit on Me and Paddington Bra for further details.

Apparently there was a walk.  We know that because, just like the last time we ran in the area, we lost about eight or nine of them.  Someone had given Returned Empty a map (fools!) and the usually reliable May Not had followed in her wake.  Perhaps he was distracted by the, er, views on the walk.  May Not remains to this day uncharacteristically silent on the matter.

The circle saw the return of the ice though Rubber Lover wasn’t the focus of attention this week.  After much protestation and malcontent Flip Flop was finally lowered onto the ice, for the crime of protestation and malcontent in the circle.  The original charge had something to do with Returned Empty however as usual everyone denied any such involvement.  Jimmy Morrison also found himself cooling his nether regions and again the reason escapes me.  It must be pointed out that by this stage your scribe had begun to indulge in the nectar of the Gods and probably wasn’t paying quite the amount of attention required for writing a report.

At the end of the circle baby Louise was named Brussel Sprout and Chickpea and Phlegm joined in for the sad farewell of our beloved hashers.   They are off, again, for Brussels and hoping, again, for work in dark, foreign lands.  No doubt we’ll see them back in Phnom Penh soon.

On On


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Posted by p2h3hashtrash on November 10, 2009

Ball1It’s that time of the year again when we don our finest and talk with a plum in our mouths….. the 2009 P2H3 Ball!

When:  21st of November, from 7:00pm

Where:  Living Room , Street 306 BKK1

What:  Formal attire… from any country.  It can be black tie, Cambodian wedding attire or Nigerian robes… we don’t care as long as it’s formal

Price:  $25 for expats and $8 for Cambodians who’ve done at least 5 runs (or something along those lines)

So buy your tickets from the Velkommn Inn or at the Hash


For further details contact  colleenmcginn@hotmail.com

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Run #941 The Hasher (or almost there and almost back again)

Posted by p2h3hashtrash on November 10, 2009






Date : 8/11/09

Hare:  Blitzkreig

Run Report:  Blah Blah

And the pack did marvel at the hill of Phnom Prassat, for such a sight was rare to behold.  Yet they suffered in their ignorance for little were they aware that going up such hills meant going down again…. and up again…. and down again….. and up again….. for the hills had many sides and the hare liketh the view with uncommon fervour. [Malt 3:05]

On the hill lived a Blitzkreig.  Not a nice round hill with grassy slopes upon which impossibly fluffy sheep grazed, nor a sharp impressive hill with sterling views and goats teetering on dramatic cliff face drops.  It was a Blitzkreig hill, and that meant discomfort.

One day Blitzkreig was smoking his German ganja when along came the wizard Scoutmaster with his grey hair and bushy eyebrows and declared that he had to go to the lonely mountain, Phnom Prassat, to rescue cold Anchor beer from its evil aluminum casing.  “Bugger off,” declared Blitzkreig, “I’m no good at adventures, they make you late for supper.”   Scoutmaster laughed and declared that Herring Choker would frown upon this as trail master and would have his wicked Viking way with Blitzkreig if he didn’t conform.  And thus Blitzkreig found himself setting the trail on his final run which happened to be his 202nd birthday.

Blitzkreig was joined on the trail by his completely untrustworthy companions Mr Tinkle, Runs Well, Wannacracker, Yap Yap, Little Willy and STD amongst others.  As they were journeying they came across the evil trolls May Not, Hit on Me and Botticelli who were leading the walkers astray.  Before you could say “where did that French girl go?”  virgins and Camille and Maria were gobbled up by the visiting walking troll Kiss Me.  It would have gone badly then but Mr Tinkle had a quick slash which splattered the troll’s legs and turned him to stone.

At the halfway the wandering devious friends had a rest.  A truck appeared from nowhere and the pack ran forward to get a drink, leaving poor Blitzkreig dazed and alone.   He heard a noise and followed it to find a big green pond next to a wat where sat visitor Happy Beaver weeping and gnashing her teeth bemoaning the loss of her precious.  She started a riddle game with Blitzkreig, the first question being “what colour are your panties?” To which Blitzkreig replied, “fleshy and soft to the touch,” wherein Happy Beaver ran off screaming and Blitzkreig was saved, eventually rejoining his companions.

Eventually the untrustworthy troupe made it to the lonely mountain, Phnom Prassat, where the evil non-beer drinking Flip Flop lay awaiting, guarding jealously the hoard of beer which he would never himself partake in.  The unreliable companions were at a loss and eventually turned to Blitzkreig who came up with a wonderful idea.  “Let us use the only weapon we know of that can rid the amber trove of its sober guardian,” he declared.  And hence they charged in, with John Malloy at the fore, wielding the mighty sword Returned Empty which promptly put Flip Flop to flight.

With the amber cache rid of its dreadful guardian the pack convened a circle and much merry making ensued.  STD repeatedly gave Blitzkreig down downs to reward him for years of faithful service and Cuntsultant made declarations of a ball to be held on the 21st of November in his honour whilst Shoots Blanks recorded the entire event for posterity.

And thus Blitzkreig’s journey came to an end and they lived happily ever after.

The End.

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