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A hash on a particular date or run no. or for any other reason warranting a t-shirt

Mekong Indochina Full Moon Hash #2.5 – Phnom Penh, 2010

Posted by p2h3hashtrash on November 15, 2010

Mekong Indochina Hash – Full Moon or Any Moon Run No. 2½

Hares: Flip Flop, BoBo, STD

Date: 1st November 2010

Many things wrong here: firstly there was no full moon. It was ¾ moon to be exact, but who’s counting? Maybe the same person who determined that Sunday’s run was the P2H3’s 1,000th when it wasn’t. Secondly, the organisers of this little event had decided that, in order to not to confuse Hashers with unnecessary details, information about the event was to be given out on a need-to-know basis. However, since they forgot to tell anybody that it was on, not many people were making enquiries!

Those who managed to remember what, when, where, and why dutifully turned up at Velkommen Inn on Monday evening where the confusion continued. Hordes of Hashers emerged out of the woodwork; many more than expected. We even had a virgin turn up –  impressive for a run that was only advertised two days prior and then only to Hashers at the run site. STD made frantic phone calls to the boat driver and the On On On proprietor to make sure they could handle the crush. They couldn’t. Amid the confusion, a nest of maggots that had found cozy refuge in Rocks Off’s shoes decided to hatch, sending a flurry of tiny insects scattering across the floor of the soon-to-be-condemned restaurant. Sorry about that Herring Choker! The rest of the Hash watched in amusement as the staff tried to stamp out the little critters, whilst quietly cancelling their food orders.

Then the rain clouds came. Our boat trip was looking less and less delightful, but in the absence of other choices the order was given by disorganizers Flip Flop, BoBo, and STD to hit the high seas, so off the Hashers went. The Gods were clearly smiling upon us, as the boat trip and scramble up the opposite river bank to Snow’s bar were mercifully uneventful. Upon hitting the eclectic, welcoming bar and in the presence of so much beer, there was excited chatter about skipping the run altogether. But cooler, more sober heads (BoBo’s) prevailed, and we bid tearful adieu to Snow in order to run around dangerous streets and filthy alleys in the pitch dark. Who came up with this idea in the first place? Also, since only three of the 50 or so Hashers remembered to bring a torch, there was little chance to avoid disaster.

The age-old question of spray paint vs. flour was put to the test. Unfortunately no one remembers the answer. STD stuck with old, white, toxic faithful, while BoBo, in the absence of his preferred shreddie, opted for the environmentally friendly white stuff. Considering how lost the pack was, it’s safe to say neither worked like a charm. Cooler weather made for a fast-moving pack, which proved a bitch when the Runners were off trail and had to trek back long distances to where the Hares were patiently waiting, wondering when they would notice that the Hares hadn’t actually moved from the Check. First casualty was Herring Choker, who abandoned trail 500 meters along to rejoin Snow at the bar. Smart man!

The rest galloped along, panting and frothing at the mouth. After several false turns and long digressions, they finally veered off the road and into interior Chroy Changva, and the ancestral homeland of venerable Hasher Check Around. A quick jaunt through his property, including a scramble over a low wall was quite shitty, literally. Overheard:

Virgin “this place smells like shit.”

Leaking Duck “there’s a good reason for that.”

After leaving the heart of darkness (the aforementioned shit-smelling abode-to-be of Check Around) the Runners continued eastward and reached the glare of a well-lit road – whereupon one bearded Runner (name unknown) stumbled over a pebble and tumbled head first into the tarmac. Go figure! He was to repeat this exercise at least once more so one assumes that he had spent a little too long hydrating in the bar prior to the run. And so the Runners muddled along. The lack of visibility of the marks ensured that at least one loop was missed by the pack but there didn’t seem to have been any complaints on that score! A visit to a brand new 20 story high-rise apartment block was not high on their priority list although both STD and Flip Flop had insisted that a thorough recce of this building was required when setting the run. Luckily the Hashers missed the trail leading up the 20 flights of stairs to the rooftop viewpoint!

Local Hasher, Blah Blah, was caught out at the second to last Check when he went straight ahead rather than turning left to go down to Snow’s. One would have thought that he would have known better but he was saved from a fate worse than death, or at least a very long run Home, by one of BoBo’s clear False Trail mark laid in flour.

The On Home was just a straight run for about 1.3 km along a mixture of paved and dirt roads. BoBo was glad to see that his final Check, laid just metres away from Snow’s bar caught out at least three of the FRBs, including his fellow Yangon Hasher, Gigolo Joe. They turned right and followed his trail of flour until they realised that they were off flour – the only part of the trail where a False Trail mark had not been laid.

Somehow all ended up back at Snow’s.

 

Full Moon Trail (scale 1:20,000 or 4 cm = 1 km)

[Trail in yellow was the trail taken on the night. The one in red is the trail taken by the Hares while laying the run and False Trails earlier in the day]

After the Hash cooled down from the run with too many beers and too few waters, blocks of ice were brought forth and BoBo kicked off the circle in grand fashion, with Joint Venture as his enticing beer bitch.

Circle:

The Hares were iced and toasted. Herring Choker gave a glowing run report, but that may have been the aquavit talking.

First time Full Mooners fought over seats on the ice.

BoBo announced that the non beer drinkers had the opportunity to do their Down Downs with some hideous local hooch that was given the name Mr Muscles due to the picture of a ripped body-builder on the front of the bottle. Perfect for those of a gay bent!

Danes had to drink. Yanks had to drink. Aussies had to drink. The 2 virgins were sullied, one on STDs lap. One must take a moment of pity for the ice, which saw more ass than a toilet seat. Plug Her was elected ‘ball tester’ to gage whose was biggest, a role she seemed born to play. Even Yap Yap was drunk, an occurrence probably not seen since her wedding night.

Those geographically challenged at the last Check were given a beer to ease their pain.

The man who succeeded in tripping over his own feet was similarly anaesthetized.

Those who took part in the previous Full Moon Hash in Yangon drank – if they could remember that far back!

After gawking in horror at the ritual taking place in his bar, Snow eventually got into the action, and was iced as well.

Charges from the Circle were requested and received in droves. The Circle dissolved into utter carnage, there was ice, beer and Mr. Muscles all over the floor and not a few Hashers ready to pass out.

Finally we all piled on the boat which ferried us safe and sound to Velkommen Inn to continue our quest to make sure the beer population of Cambodia doesn’t get out of hand. T-shirts were doled out to those who earned them by signing up early.

Note: BoBo finally got his T-shirt!

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A Brief (not at all) History of the Indochina Full Moon Hash

Posted by p2h3hashtrash on November 15, 2010

Author:  Bobo, GM, YH3

Some background information on this timeless tradition may be useful (or not as the case may be but you are going to get it anyway). The genesis of this run started way back in the mists of time when dinosaurs still roamed the planet – like Phlegm. Shortly before the dawn of mankind, a group of proto-hominids, known as Hashers, visited Siem Reap for the 7th Mekong Indochina Hash. After completing a run around the temples of Angkor Wat, the Hashers assembled on a dusty plain to observe arcane rituals, which were supervised by their High Priest, Flip Flop (see picture).
Sometime after darkness fell, Flip Flop espied the moon and he determined that his congregation were sufficiently purified that they could go and eat and drink and make merry. So he dismissed them with a cheery injunction to “Get on the damn busses and go home!” The crowd instantly dispersed and got on the damn busses – but then Hash planning made itself felt. The busses were parked on a plain that consisted of something close to quicksand. Any attempt to move the busses after they had sat there for several hours only resulted in them getting further bogged down. The few busses that were free to move were used to try and pull out the ones mired in the bog. Result: you guessed it – more busses bogged down up to the axles in shiggy.

Net result was that many a Hasher had to trek out to the road and flag down a passing tuk tuk/ moto/taxi/bicycle with padded rear luggage rack, etc. Result: lots of happy Khmers making dollars from desperados The beer truck finally left (but not before beers had been safely stowed in backpacks for what looked like being a long walk home!) and during the ensuing mass exodus BoBo ventured to Flip Flop that they should call it the inaugural Mekong Indochina Full Moon Hash and that the event was worthy of a special T-shirt. Flip Flop agreed and a roll-call was taken to record for posterity those who took part. 23 names were recorded and 16 of them were drunk enough to part with cash there and then in return for a promise of an exclusive T-shirt. Flip Flop took the money off the gullible and promised that a special edition T-shirt would be promptly put in the post and would most likely be waiting on the Hashers doorsteps before they even got home.

A month or so later, when BoBo noted that his doorstep remained free of Hasherdabbery, he made a casual enquiry to Flip Flop to find out what progress he had made. “None,” was the answer but it did prompt Flip Flop to come up with a design (which looks strangely similar to the one dished out in Phnom Penh in 2010!). In true Flip Flop Hash fashion he then tried to pass on all responsibility for further enhancements to BoBo, who politely declined.

And there, dear reader, the ball stopped rolling. The 16 Hashers who invested their hard-earned cash in T-shirt futures, got burned and so endeth Run No. ½.

Fast forward the clock from the Cretaceous Period (ca. 2004) to 2009 when the Mekong Indochina Hash visited Yangon and turned back its watch by 30 years. BoBo was still waiting for his T-shirt from Flip Flop but had come to realise that if he wanted a Mekong Indochina Full Moon Hash T-shirt he would have to make one himself. This he decided to do and so he announced Run 1½ and persuaded 80-odd souls to take a run around the Shwedagon, through monasteries and ancient bamboo groves in the middle of downtown Yangon and to get bombarded with missiles hurled by the irate abbot of a religious establishment who took umbrage at Hashers disturbing the peace and tranquility of his little empire. Apart from some slight injuries to the leg of Yogi Bra, the Hash otherwise went off without incident and it was adjudged by all and sundry as being a bloody good run and perhaps better than the regular weekend runs. All who took part were presented with a lovely bespoke T-shirt – and it looked nothing like the design that Flip Flop had sent to BoBo five years earlier!

Fast forward another year and BoBo found out that Flip Flop was again in residence in Phnom Penh after a long sojourn to Australia, Africa and elsewhere. “Where’s my T-shirt?” enquired BoBo. Flip Flop’s replies were akin to those that would have been sent by a frightened rabbit caught in the headlights – if only rabbits could write (and it’s arguable whether Flip Flop can write – well write anything other than technogeek). BoBo suggested that things could be remedied if another Full moon Run was organised. Easy!

To cut a very long story short, Flip Flop agreed to produce a T-shirt if BoBo would help to Hare a run and produce a design. Done deal said BoBo. He instantly mailed back the (unproduced) design for the Siem Reap Run. However, since he didn’t know diddly squat about Phnom Penh, he asked for some help on the run-setting front and so Flip Flop volunteered the services of STD. That’s delegation for you. He must be an excellent manager in the real world. So, after running around the countryside of Phnom Penh for two days, BoBo found himself having breakfast with STD and Flip Flop on Monday morning and was gratified to hear that all was under control – well all except the fact that the T-shirts had not yet been printed, that the route of the Hash had not been decided upon and the method of marking the trail had not even been thought about. Thus Run No. 2 ½ started in the manner in which it meant to continue!

However, planning of a sort had in fact started a couple of days previously. BoBo remarked to Flip Flop that it might help if an announcement was made at the Circle at the end of the Saturday Hash to let people know that there would be a “Special Run” on Monday. This seemed to resonate with Flip Flop but unfortunately the hurried cold and wet Circle on the boat wasn’t an ideal venue to make such an announcement and so BoBo put Plan B into action. Enlist the services of a good-looking Harriette!

Yogi Bra’s fervent attempt to collect money for this thing on Saturday evening, when all were well and drunk, resulted in a huge influx of cash and a huge lack of comprehension over what exactly one would get for one’s $5 contribution. In truth, the lack of comprehension extended to the Hares, who, at their Monday morning pre-trail-laying breakfast meeting, wondered how many slabs of beer they needed to steal in order to satisfy the thirsts of everyone that threatened to show up.

Will anyone figure out what the hell is going on?  Stay tuned for the actual run report…

On On!

Posted in Event Hash, Outstanding Haring, Uncategorized | Leave a Comment »

INTER MEKONG HASH 2010 – PHNOM PENH

Posted by p2h3hashtrash on November 15, 2010

Phnom Penh narrowly avoids disaster as they attempt to mismanage the hash hordes invading their fair countryside.  No one lost a leg.  No one died.  So our petty, insignificant screw-ups really look quite small, comparatively.

After a lengthy hiatus, hash trash is back with a vengence.  Please see in the following order:  1. IMH3 report by our beloved Short Time, who, true to name, has already fled the country.  2.  History of the Annual Full Moon Hash, complete with table of contents, index and glossary by uber-hash trasher and GM of the YH3, Bobo.  3.  Actual Phnom Penh Full Moon Hash 2010, which in true hash fasion,  took place during a waning crescent moon.  Please read and enjoy.

Love,

Yogi Bra

 

Indochina Mekong Hash 2010 – P2H3 1,000 run – Full Moon Hash
Hares – Herring Choker,Blah Blah,Yap Yap,Yogi Bra,Ikea,Runs Well and Wanna Cracker
Dates – October 30 – November 1
Run Report – Short Time

Overheard by a foreign hasher on his first trip to Cambodia, stepping onto the shore of Koh Dach – “Are there active land mines here?”

A veteran P2H3 hasher replied, “Nah, after you …”
Day 1:
The Indochina Mekong Hash weekend began with a registration party at Sharkys Bar & Restaurant where ice cold Anchor Beer and a barbecue dinner was served. Hashers were given goodie bags with shirts, a hat and a map of the host city. A new friend was made by all, Schubert, our host representing the Anchor Brewery.

Schubert is the kind of guy who is your best friend at night as beer is flowing. You thank God for individuals like him, who make this brew for alcoholics, I mean hashers. But the next morning Schubert’s popularity takes a severe hit when bloodshot eyes open and aspirin bottles are fumbled for. Fortunately, this was a weekend event and upon returning for the actual run, several large coolers filled with Anchor awaited. Schubert was once again, the man.
Day 2:

The Indochina Mekong Hash began under cloudy skies, intermittent rain with a sail up the Mekong River to Koh Dach. A 18 km and 12 km run awaited, along with an 8 km walk circuiting the island, famous for its silk products. Perhaps the happiest people on this chilly, rainy day were all the silk sellers who found 225 hashers, rather than the usual 30 P2H3 hashers they are used to seeing. After the run, hashers were buying scarves to keep warm and they shivered under windy, rainy conditions.

P2H3 GM Sarsy convened a circle on the boat, with Scoutmaster leading the group in “Our Lager …” while sailing back to Phnom Penh. Hashers from the various foreign kennels were recognized over the course of these two days. Although it was difficult to determine which kennel sent the most hashers, one thing was clear this day, “Hammersley takes it up the ass, do dah, do dah.”

After the Indochina run, dinner was held at the Hotel Cambodiana where the two moments of excitement seemed to be confusion over what time food was to be served and the disappearance of 30 liters of wine, the latter obviously being more important. Once the wine was located, it disappeared again within an hour.
Day 3 (oy, still going):

Morning dawned, the rain stopped and hashers rode on eight trucks to Kambol, where the 1,000 run of P2H3 was held. Kambol is a fun park, with go karts, a barbecue pit and swimming pool. But the real attraction in this area is the military shooting range located just a kilometer or so down the road.

In Cambodia, there is a lot of military surplus from years of involvement in various wars, dating from the 1960s to 1979. Customers have the opportunity to fire weapons ranging from pistols to machine guns to rocket propelled grenade launchers. Prices increase as ammunition gets bigger.

But what fun is shooting without a target? The military sells targets that include traditional bulls-eyes to old jeeps, even live chickens and cows are reputedly offered. Fortunately, our hares for the day laid a course in the opposite direction of the range, through rice paddies, past Buddhist temples, an old graveyard, and of course, the signature of a true Phnom Penh hash, grazing cows and cow shit.

Flip Flop served as RA for the circle after the run. The two newest members of the Phnom Penh hash were named. A lovely, young virgin, who was very embarrassed and didn’t want to stand in front of the 200+ person circle, opened the door for the name “Doesn’t want to cum.” Luckily, her brother was close at hand to escort her into the middle of the group. He also earned a name based on his action “Cums with his sister.”

Barbecue was eaten. Hashers were thrown into the pool. Anchor was drunk. But probably the highlight were the many different songs that were sung. “A Gay Caballero” along with “Me no likey British sailor, Yankee pay 5 dollar more” were amongst the highlights.
Mini circles formed after the main circle ended. And singing continued back to Phnom Penh on the trucks. The On On On was held at Velkommen Inn ,the hash bar on street 104.

Day 4 (Christ, not this again):

Day 4 saw a reduction in the number of hashers and also the length of the run. The hash was held across the river starting and ending at Snowy’s Bar. It was supposed to be a full moon hash, even though the full moon was the week prior and no one could see the moon on an overcast night.

Bobo of the Yangon Hash was made honorary GM. Herring Choker was asked for a run report by Mr. Tinkle. But Herring Choker claimed he got lost 700 meters down the well-lit paved road and luckily was able to find his way back to the bar, and low and behold, 300 cans of beer. Mr. Tinkle accused Herring Choker that he got lost finding the door to get out of the bar.

Everyone got iced in this final circle of the weekend. And as the full moon did not rise on this Monday night, the events of the Indochina Mekong Hash and P2H3 1000 run came to an end.

Lots of  Anchor beer. Lots of running. More important, lots of fun.

On on.

Posted in Event Hash, Outstanding Haring | 1 Comment »

HASH BALL 2009

Posted by p2h3hashtrash on November 10, 2009

Ball1It’s that time of the year again when we don our finest and talk with a plum in our mouths….. the 2009 P2H3 Ball!

When:  21st of November, from 7:00pm

Where:  Living Room , Street 306 BKK1

What:  Formal attire… from any country.  It can be black tie, Cambodian wedding attire or Nigerian robes… we don’t care as long as it’s formal

Price:  $25 for expats and $8 for Cambodians who’ve done at least 5 runs (or something along those lines)

So buy your tickets from the Velkommn Inn or at the Hash

Ball3

For further details contact  colleenmcginn@hotmail.com

Posted in Event Hash | 3 Comments »

P2H3 Run #927 – Annual General Erections

Posted by p2h3hashtrash on September 8, 2009

hares today gone tomorrow single file

hash crash mismanagement at its finest

Date: 16/08/2009

Hares: Milky Discharge, Horny Cow, Hit On Me (walk)

“ Run” Report: Yogi Bra

Iran, Afghanistan, even the 2008 US elections were no match for the P2H3 General Erections in terms of sheer anticipation and breath-taking upsets. Perennial dark horse candidate Paddington Bra could’ve pulled a Ralph Nader, dividing the hash and wooing the undecideds, but she sacrificed glory and fame for the greater good of unity.

Before we announce the winners, there is the matter of the run. Milky Discharge and Horny Cow, in their swan song to the hash, devised a run that was sure to piss off everyone but the most hard core triathletes. That they themselves were no triathletes or even biathletes (though plenty fit) was no matter because they had performance-enhancing help: a motorcycle. Setting a trail on moto is no problem – for the hares. If you happen to be an unlucky runner, things are not quite as rosy. That’s why the end of the run saw Germinator and the Toxic Avenger with big, sweaty grins on their faces, and everyone else quite miserable. I can only report on the end of the run since I showed up several hours late, though right in time for the BBQ portion of the evening.

The only insight I can give to the mindset of the hares was something Milky said a few weeks ago, that he wanted to make a trail that resembled a giant middle finger. And that he did. So it was up one side of the river and back down the other, though when related to me by runners they added many curses to that description.

After much whinging and sweating, sausages in hand, the hash gathered on the banks of some little river near the killing fields and outgoing GM Blah Blah kicked off the circle.

The new Hash Mismanagement Committee members are:

Grand Master: Scoutmaster – a man whose voice I had never heard before that day, but we suspect greatness is lurking deep within. How deep is the question. His first act of GM-dom was to make us all get on our knees and pray. I like it, a good start, hashers have grown way too weak and soft lately. Perhaps caning is not too far off.

Religious Advisor: Hold ’em – like a Cambodian court case, Hold ’em was erected in absentia and expressed profound dismay upon learning of his new role. But he’s been performing this deep-South, bible-thumping preacher act for some time, and he didn’t show up – both recipes for a swift election. Clearly all his years in the US, living in the city of sin, or the city desperately trying to cling to its reputation of sin, gave him a healthy appreciation of the ins and outs of bad behaviour and the importance and futility of confession. Amen, brother.

Hare Raiser: Herring Choker – good choice, people jump when he yells, or even just when he sneezes. Nothing like the Vikings to instill fear in the masses. Hashers will be too scared to say no when he asks them to ‘volunteer’ to set a trail.

Hash Stats: Maynot – he shows up. Overdedication to the hash is a punishable offense.

Hash Cash: Little Boy – he did it once before.

Hash Beer: Runs Well – the most important job on the hash. Despite holding this title already Runs Well gallantly volunteered for this thankless job. Thank you.

Choir Master: STD – Can you carry a tune? Do you have the vaguest sense of melody or the ability to memorize even a single lyric? If you answered ‘no’, this is the job for you.

Hash Haberdashery: Mrs. TinkleMr. Tinkle’s better half has impeccable fashion sense, great taste (in clothing) and is quite handy with a sewing machine. She will make a nice addition to the group.

Hash Trash: Wet Shag – who I predict will never, ever turn up at hash again. Ever. Anyone want to put some money on this? Little Boy – how much can you cover me for?

Webmaster: Henrik – another Viking, and the only man who runs with a full desktop consul and flat screen monitor strapped to his waist, we figured it was a natural choice.

Hash Flash: Shoots Blanks – are we changing his name because his wife is pregnant? Guess not. But he has produced some lovely photos, and has picked up Blitzkrieg’s uncanny ability to pop out of the bushes with a camera right in front of you, even though you’re sure you ran past him a minute ago.

Hash Bash: Cuntsultant, Check AroundCuntsultant eagerly signed up for this honor, and Check Around said no to everything else, thus the match made in heaven. STD, who swears he is moving and will be nowhere near Phnom Penh during any bashes nevertheless insisted on retaining the right to criticize – er, consult on the proceedings. Godspeed.

Asst. GM, later changed to Grand Mattress: Yogi Bra – smarter than your average bra.

And there you have it, democracy at its finest. Will dissenters be welcomed or locked up and sued? Will Scoutmaster move the official hash capitol from BKK to Takhmao? Will Paddington Bra be placed under house arrest amid fears of a coup? Stay tuned for reports on the reign of terror that this new committee will shower upon the hash.

On On!

Posted in Event Hash, Run Report | 3 Comments »

P2H3 Run #921 – RED DRESS RUN

Posted by p2h3hashtrash on July 16, 2009

group shot Phlegmella

gym bar huxleys

circle miss red dress 2009

shameless

Date:  11/7/2009

Hares:  Blah Blah, Yogi Bra

Run Report:  Yogi Bra

A motley crew of hashers turned up Saturday for the Annual Red Dress Run for charity.  Various amounts of skin and lace were on display as hashers tried to outdo each other in the categories of showing too much leg (Phlegm), showing too much nipple (Maynot – and really, any amount was too much), chic-est dress (tie between Beth and Leckity), largest implants (tie between Paddington Bra and Blah Blah), and ability to match lipstick to dress (STD).

A brief rundown of the course by hares Blah Blah and Yogi Bra, and an announcement of the charity that would benefit from the hash’s largesse – Kien Khleang orphanage across the Chroy Changvar bridge, kicked the day off as motodops and passing tourists stared with a mix of humor and revulsion.  A glamorous Blah Blah, clad in a slinky red number and armed with a bag of flour and a thorough lack of shame, took off on a live hare jaunt, and the pack soon followed.  I broke from the pack at Wat Phnom to assume my co-haring duties with Blah Blah, who admitted he was relieved not to have to run all alone in his get-up.  We ran south towards street 178, dodging cars, motos, jeers and catcalls the whole way.  I was only a little sad when I discovered that all the compliments regarding breasts were directed at Blah Blah.  At some point we discovered a hole in the bag of flour, and that we were essentially leaving a Hansel und Gretel-like trail for the pack, and sure enough were soon snared by two Bangkok foreign spies, who hadn’t bothered to don anything red, much less a dress.

The first stop of the piss-up – I mean pub crawl was Gym Bar, where affable Randall and a couple unfortunate regulars were treated to the horrifying sight of a bunch of sweaty, thirsty runners in various states of red undress.  After a beer and a chance to catch our breath and wait for the walkers, we took off again.  We abandoned the flour and took the pack along street 19 to stop #2 – Freebird.  All were present except Phlegm, a man physically and morally unable to follow a trail, who led a few hashers astray into The Shop for reasons still unknown at the time of writing.  Best thing about Freebird: those cool, jasmine-scented washcloths that the friendly and patient staff supplied us with, and the gloriously chilly air-con.  I highly recommend it for your next running/cross-dressing/drinking triathlon.  At this point the pack should’ve been somewhat slowed, but we are a pack of over-eager, wanna-be athletes, so after another beer we took off at a fast pace north along the riverside in front of the Royal  Palace, scaring a new batch of tourists.  We hung a quick left at 136 and headed into the relative calm and cool of Huxley’s for a third refreshment.  The stops were getting to be longer than the running, and that last one almost claimed us for good, but we managed to pull ourselves out and trotted one last time upriver to street 104 and the welcoming arms of Velkommen Inn, the hash’s unofficial official pub, amid angry glares of some very jealous lady boys.  Sorry gals, but we looked hot.  Literally.

Circle:

Possibly the most exciting event of the day – quite a feat considering – was the appearance of long-lost RA Flaccido Domingo, and his family.  Wait, what?  Yes, wife and two children.  According to F. Domingo:  everyone knew this as he talked about them all the time.  According to everyone else:  huh?  However, they were very sweet and lovely and we hope to see them again at hash soon.

Moving on:  beer and popcorn flowing, we formed an amoeba-shaped circle around the front of Velkommen and kicked off a wobbly circle.  Various punishments were awarded, but not enough in my opinion.  Many men who turned up in red pants and t-shirts were spared, as was Available for $60 for impersonating a lady bug.  A sexiest outfit contest saw STD pitted against Phlegm, Maynot and Cuntsultant, with Phlegm and Maynot getting the most cheers and being forced into a compromising position to drink with their arms linked.

After we hung around Velkommen to watch the day fade and the neon lights of the bars on the street flick on, and eventually all dispersed.

Good work, folks.  On On!

Posted in Event Hash, Run Report | 1 Comment »

HASH FLASH

Posted by p2h3hashtrash on July 7, 2009

red dress run 2008 fester in red

Did you know…

That Saturday, July 11th is the annual Red Dress Run, the Hash’s attempt to give a little back to the country that has given us so much (beer, wasp stings, etc).

Meet: 2:30pm at the Post Office
*note, NOT train station

Wear:  a red dress.  If you are stuck for ideas, see the photos above.  One of the group and one a close-up of Fester, descending the steps of the post office.

Your usual $5 contribution will be donated to charity.  Charity to be named soon.   See you there!

Posted in Announcements, Event Hash | 6 Comments »

P2H3 Run #906 – Dog On Heat Memorial Run

Posted by p2h3hashtrash on March 31, 2009

dog-on-heat

Date:  29/3/2009

Hares:  Blah Blah & Co. (run), Madame Ovary (walk)

Run Report:  Yogi Bra

A good-sized crowd turned out for the one-year anniversary of the untimely passing of Dog On Heat, an eminent runner and dedicated hasher.

Armed with sacks of flour from Lucky and too much energy for someone who supposedly woke at 5am and drove that morning from Kampong Cham, GM Blah Blah set off for a live hare with a slightly different format.  In a long, hot game of tag, Blah Blah and the hare set off with their flour and a small head start.  Once the hare was caught the tagger became the new hare and the process continued.

Of course the first hare chosen was a virgin.  But he gamely agreed to leave his friends and head off into the woods with Blah Blah – fairly brave of him.  He was eventually caught by Wannacracker who managed to stay ahead of the pack until the half way.  Runswell, Simon, Dutchie, Thong Flasher, Kate B. and Karl came close but none could catch him.

The lucky draw winner to kick off haring after the half-way was none other than Fester.  After Phlegm stripped him of his wallet so he couldn’t live hare on a moto, he galloped off after Blah Blah, faster than a speeding tuk tuk.  Unsurprisingly Simon caught him quickly, and took over hare-mantle for the remainder of the run.  All would have gone smoothly had the hares not accidentally stumbled across a short-cutting, walking Phlegm, who “caught” them.

Circle

This week saw the return of hash choirettes The Sirens, consisting of Thong Flasher, Love Bite, Yogi Bra and SuMing who provided much raunchy merriment to the proceedings.  GM Blah Blah and AGM Milky Discharge took the reigns and got down to business.  Virgins, Foreign Spies, and Returnees were all anointed in beer.  Laverne celebrated a special anniversary, having completed 290 runs.

The usually overzealous RA Flaccido Domingo was even more heated than usual, maybe due to sunstroke.  He began by calling in Blah Blah, Phlegm and the other bourgeoisie elite for their fishing trip.  Then Love Bite joined in the fray by dragging in all the fashion victims.  Little Boy and some virgins were punished for hailing from Michigan – something to do with the GM plant closing, I believe.  Yankee Wanker and Agrippa were made to drink from their huge, blocky hiking boots.  Then all the Swedes — Milky, Agrippa and a virgin — were brought in and serenaded by Blah Blah with an ABBA song.

On the international crisis front, the biggest problem we could come up with was the imminent flooding in Fargo, North Dakota.  All North Americans were brought in to form a towering dyke with their potties, and Dutch Dorienne had to stick her finger in it.  After a rousing rendition of God Bless America the dyke was dismantled, the Dutchwoman released.

There was also some weirdness involving Agrippa and foreskin, the less said about that the better.  Almost as disturbing was Wanker and Flasher’s dance to try to distract the hash and change the subject.  People, everyone knows that Blah Blah is the Lord of the Dance on the hash, and will perform everything from the Russian Cossack dance to the pas de deux from Swan Lake with little or no encouragement.  Please, leave him his mantle.

12 hours later we finally closed circle, and it was on to the on on on at the Golden Thatching, where Dog On Heat was toasted again.  Amen.

Posted in Event Hash, Outstanding Haring, Run Report | 4 Comments »

P2H3 Run # 900 & 901 – Weekend Extravaganza

Posted by p2h3hashtrash on February 26, 2009

the-run buddhist-diorama

say-anchor down-downs

our-fearless-leader std-resurfaces

sunday-stroll-through-tuol-kork hashers-at-the-helm

hash-rides-again little-boy

Dates: 21/2/2009 & 22/2/2009

Hares 900th: Leaking Duck, Mr Tinkle (running), Pissalot (walking)

Hares 901st: Little Boy (cycling), Madam Ovaries (passenger)

Run Report:  Blah Blah

A Cyclical Swim

And the pack sweated as it boarded the truck in the blazing sun and cried out to the GM in their despair “oh where is this much promised pool and bbq for we desire it s,.” to which he replied in a kindly voice,  “Stop whinging you ungrateful bastards, the pool is but nearby.” And the pack saw it was so and were glad [Hops 13:16]

The pack hesitated as it pondered its fate, for its collective head did throbeth from the day prior.  “Fear not,” cried the hare, “for I haveth a fleet of wheeled conveyances.” And the pack did collapse into the cyclos, though some were still beer addled and found themselves cycling instead.  [Hangover 4:02]

They say the path to enlightenment is not a short one, and accordingly the drive to the Buddhist centre under construction out near Banteay Daek was one that must have been illuminating indeed.  After many a twist and turn and a constant “are we there yet?” from our illustrious RA, Flaccido Domingo, we arrived at the centre.

It was indeed a different run.  How two of the least reverent members of the hash found themselves weaving amongst temples and bridges was beyond the ken of the pack.  The theory that they were closet Buddhist monks wasn’t even raised.  None-the-less they managed it and it was a pleasant run indeed with Milky Discharge showing particular interest in the diorama and Hold ‘Em enjoying the friezes under construction at another temple site.

The pack was hot, however, and all adjourned to Club Evergreen where a large pool and BBQ awaited.  Runs Well, Wanna Cracker and Catwalk Boy got the BBQ started whilst the pack soaked their sore muscles in the pool which was rapidly gathering a surface sheen of Anchor.

Circle was held in the pool with many spurious charges laid.  The Sirens, consisting of Yogi Bra, Love Bite, Suming and Horny Cow were in full swing and Choir Master STD revealed he had indeed been harbouring his wooden instrument all along.

At some stage an outbreak of water polo, hash style, broke out though the only thing agree on was the fact that Dutchie and Check Around were on opposite teams.  Players swapped sides mid play, Yap Yap kept moving the goals and no-one kept score.  A true hash event indeed.

The next day a rather reduced pack staggered to the railway station for the cyclo hang-over run.  Little Boy and Madam Ovary had organised a large gathering of cyclos.  A few hardy hashers placed their cyclo driver in the front seat and adopted the drivers position, however most succumbed to temptation, grabbed a cold can of Anchor, and settled in for the ride.

A trip through Tuol Kork and back to the Japanese bridge saw a couple of close calls however despite the packs best efforts it failed to hit a single car.  Better luck next year.  The half way was at the post office where Yogi Bra (who had been running) realised how foolish such an undertaking was and accepted a ride from the gallant Milky DischargeLisa was determined to cycle her driver (who looked concerned) and Fold ‘Em did her best to lead the pack astray with Laverne, but still managed to find the half way.

As usual the pack went everywhere but the trail yet managed to find their way back due to the powerful lure of beer.  Pipe Organ ran the second half, however Vacuum decline to join him, preferring to berate him from her seat.

The cycle ended at Château Blah Yap where Hold ‘Em took on the job of RA for the day.  Afterwards it was on-on-on to Irrawaddy where Squint Westward happily ordered vegetarian to no avail and Phlegm and Chick Pea made a belated entrance yet still found food aplenty.  Rumour has it that it all ended in chocolate……… make of that what you will.

On On!

Posted in Event Hash, Outstanding Haring, Run Report | 2 Comments »

Hash Ball 2008

Posted by p2h3hashtrash on December 3, 2008

hash-ball11

Date:  22/11/2008

Event:  Hash Ball

Ball Report:  Yogi Bra

The Hash cleans up nice. Who knew everyone looked so pretty when they’re not covered in mud and sweat on the back of a truck or slogging through a rice paddy.  The Khmer ladies did not disappoint, strutting their stuff with sparkling finery and artfully coiffed manes.  The rest of us looked ok, but clearly do not know the meaning of “dressing up”.  The evening began with champagne and live classical music in the garden, a lovely slide show of all of us covered in mud and sweat on the back of a truck, and slogging through rice paddies, some food, some wine, some beer, then upstairs for circle.  Hasher of the year:  Laverne.  Hare of the Year:  Flaccido.  Trail of the Year:  Phlegm.  Run Report of the year:  Ikea.  Lifetime Hashing Achievement Award:  Blitzkrieg.

Then onto dancing.  Everyone got their hooch on and danced to an inspiring collection of gangster rap and Khmer pop.  Again thanks to the fashion sense of the Khmers, there were more outfit changes than a Spanish soap opera awards show, and they put on outfit number 2 (or 3) and got down to business.

The Mr. Tinkle show does not disappoint. After much revelry, Mr. Tinkle abandoned his sense of decorum and underwear, and treated us all to a memorable dance.  Did no one see this coming?  Apparently not satisfied with the few rave reviews he got, he asked Escort Services and Yogi Bra several days later whether they attended the show and if they agreed with the reviews.  Poor Mrs. Tinkle was less than pleased with the performance and practiced her backhand on her betrothed’s face.  In fact, many wives’ wrists were sore the next morning, and not for the usual reasons.  There was more slapping at that party than in a British comedy of manners, but no serious harm was done and all emerged intact, if a bit hung over.  All in all the evening ended up a fun bit of revelry for a group of people who take revelry quite seriously.

On On to 2009!

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