More Announcements…

1. Hare needed this weekend

Hare-raiser Mr Tinkle says we need someone to co-hare this week with Dusty. If willing, email Mr Tinkle:

ajaveling AT yahoo.co.uk

2. Hash Ball tickets 

Time is running out to buy tickets for the Hash Ball.  We need numbers.  For tickets email or call Yogi Bra

kate AT kateliana.com

AFL and Netball Players

AFL is also known as Australian Rules football.  Its similar to Gaelic football, a bit like rugby and a little less like soccer.  

AFL is probably the best sport in the world!

On Saturday the Cambodian Kangaroos take the field against Vietnam, Laos and Bangkok.  We are short of players (very) so any P2H3 hashers with a passing interest will be welcomed.  It is a sport that suits all heights and builds and fitness levels.  Participation is practically compulsory for hashers with Australian passports.  The first game starts 10.45 am at Northbridge. 

Netball is a bit like basketball.  Netball is probably the best sport in the world!  Ask The Germinator if you have any questions.  The tournament is on the same day at Northbridge and they are looking for players too.

Leave a comment if you are interested and info will be passed on, or talk to Ikea.

P2H3 Run# 886 – A Rubbish Run

Run date: 16/11/08

Hares: Blah Blah, Greg, Flying Plod (walking)

Report: Ikea

On the other hand, the on on on at the Irrawaddy Myanmar Restaurant was fantastic.

Tasty food, particularly the chicken curry with chickpeas or perhaps split peas.  Pulses anyway. I also liked the dried shrimp salad with the dried broad beans.  It all arrived quickly and came to $3 each. There were none of the usual knife fights or self-immolation protests over the bill. Good work hares GM Blah Blah and Greg. 

From where I was sitting at the dinner table it seemed an unbuttoned Dr Slimy was taking cheap shots at US foreign policy in order to provoke the many Seppo’s present, using references going back to Vietnam. I want everyone to know that I myself did four years in ‘Nam.  Cheltenham.   That joke works better out loud…

Anyway, a number of the junta-supporting hashers, mostly those from the repressive junta that mismanages this Hash, were drinking the junta-linked Myanmar Beer.  Shame on you, and possibly house arrest.  Only Anchor promises to refresh your body and your mind.  Anchor is freedom in a can.  Ahhh Anchor!   

The trail was out past Tahkmau and will be remembered for traversing a stinking pile of garbage and a big puddle. There were several long straight road bashes – which, the hares claim, ‘allows everyone to stretch their legs’, as opposed to the hares having nowhere else to go.  The 8 km distance was about right though.   

The pace at the front is definitely slowing now that Runs Well is slipping back to the pack and we are missing Wanna Cracker and the other Khmer FRBs. Mr Tinkle, Checkaround, Yogi Bra, Herring Choker are all finding themselves in or near the lead at times and having to do (or pretend to do) the hard yakka of checking for false trails.  This leads to any amount of doing up shoelaces, stretching limbs, peering uselessly down the road, gazing into the sky, milking cows, playing mah jong, smoking opium etc, at the checks while waiting for some more diligent sucker to turn up.   

The circle was marked or marred by an inept display of Choirmastering by Ikea. He knew few of the songs and those he knew he butchered.  The only thing he seemed to have experience in was handling a giant phallus.  A huge amount of virgins, returnees, foreign spies, and anniversaroids (notably Silicon Chip – 150 fashionable runs) were punished.  Stand in RA Greg showed some promise as a future member of the hash junta by pinning several innocents for the victimless crime of not wearing hash gear.

Hash announcements: the dress rule for the hash ball is now masquerade formal traditional dress of any country.  Strictly.  And Run 888 is coming in two weeks.  It will be an excellent boat run.

ON ON

P2H3 Run #885 – The American Invasion

Date:  9/11/2008

Hare:  Phlegm, Laverne (walking)

Run Report:  Yogi Bra

Hordes of American barbarians invade the Kingdom, Phlegm goes yellow.

Big times we live in.  This week the world held its collective breath as one of the most exciting contests unfolded after months of anticipation.  True to reputation, the Melbourne Cup did not disappoint, with a heart-pounding photofinish of Viewed winning the race that stops the nation, causing joy for some, heartbreak for many.  Hash Trash is no gambler, but surely there must be a prize for coming in last.  Luckily her bookie, a fellow-hasher, empathized with her desire for unbroken legs and he broke two of her fingernails instead.

And there was that other horse race of lasting global significance across the pond.  Many regular hashers away for water festival, the Americans descended in all their rowdy glory.  Giddy and bold from the election, they did what they do best:  invade and assimilate everyone.  By the end all the Brits were whistling Dixie and the Aussies pledging allegiance to the flag.

(Disclaimer: Hash Trash herself grew up on the island-nation of New York City, populated by stylish idiot-savants who can name every Kurosawa film and navigate the subway system in their sleep but cannot drive a car or find Wisconsin on a map.  Similar to Americans in skin tone and speech, but otherwise worlds apart.)

The run:

Uber-hare Phlegm got artsy and made his markings in yellow.  No big deal, but all of a sudden, everything is yellow: leaves, dead grass, flowers, empty crisp bags, there was no way of knowing what you were looking at.  Blah Blah bravely checked most of the false trails, as did Herring Choker.  Other hashers preferred to wait and read about it in the paper.  The run took us through villages, past pagodas, through only ankle-deep water, surprising since it is Phlegm.  The Cambodian menace was alive and well, Runs Well, Wannacracker, and new hasher Rotha leaving everyone in the dust.

A Norwegian virgin promised to lead the walkers to safety, so we were all confused when we saw his blonde locks bobbing amongst the runners.  Who are they following?  Someone who lead them through waist-deep water, according the high-water marks on their clothing.  Only poor Mr. Tinkle attended sick call this week, with a chest wound that begat fond memories of Rubbed Raw.

A to B to C runs are always a lengthy affair, and the run came in at around 8ks.  What it lacked in length it made up for in beautiful scenery.  When the runners boarded the truck to reunite with the walkers, several of the bong thoms joked that they couldn’t remember the last time they had ridden the thing.  Most funny to those of us who took a bath on the way home last week under a pounding rain storm.  Hashers enjoyed the beautiful scenery and sunset as we were serenaded by the foreign American spies, who sang hash songs from other regions at deafening tones.

The circle:

GM Blah Blah feted the hares, virgins, Foreign spies Beaver Shot, Mount-hee and Alchoholiday, returnees and anniversaroids in no particular order.  Even after being called a Canadian, American hasher Greg gamely agreed to perform as stand-in RA and called in so many sinners the members in the circle outnumbered those on the outside.

Due to last week’s historical election, Blah Blah called in all Americans and was nearly crushed in the stampede that followed.  In lieu of a republican, or anyone who would admit to it, we called in our favorite patsy Sarsy, who has been blamed for multiple hash crimes, many of which occurred while he was in absentia.

The on on on at Velkommen put all in a celebratory mood, as we washed away our cultural differences with excellent French and Norwegian food cooked by a Cambodian chef.  Globalism is alive and well.

On on!

P2H3 Run #884 – Oktoberfest in the Phnom Penh Alps

Date:  2/11/2008

Hare:  Blitzkrieg, Love Bite (walking)

Run Report: Phlegm

Ja! Ja! Ja! Blitzkrieg has eine Grosse problem with the hash marking. Before starting at Phnom Basset kitschy building, he explained to the 70 hashers the rules: the Cross is now a Check Around, and the False trail is a line. Is it already Alzheimer’s? Has he some Freudian problem or is he Nuts to organize an Oktober Fest run in November?

For the first 400 M. we had not seen any Marx. It is perhaps because eine Deutche Mark is expensive… Even, Ikea, our Divizion leader was lost with the new marking. He was waiting Blah Blah’s horn playing The Hymn of Joy. But courageous Yap Yap, The local Matahari, found the way. The pack started as fast as an Oppenheimer rocket. And we attack Hamburger hill. Wanna Cracker won the battle and climbed on the highest tree. Why? He wanted to see the second hill in The Black Forest.

So, Dutchie, The Flying Hollander, took the manshaft to the second holding. He was followed by two American virgins who came with MP3 and CD in hand listening to something noisy like Scorpion singing in the Ruhr works. Herring Thüringen was crying: On Bach! On Bach! Rowena Germinator and Grosse Bertha fought with the barbed wire and arrived first at the top.

For the third hill, The Walkyries Thong Cheese Flasher, Paulette C. and Kate B. were in front and tried to beat The Fox of the Desert. But in his favourite battlefield, Mr Tinkle won the race. The trail was quite dry and finally, we found Blitzy quite symBaltic, but 200 M. before the end, he proposed to cross the water field. Achtung! He is not Einstein you know…

Down downs were held by our Marlene Dietrich aka J Love Bite. We have seen that P2H3 is more and more popular because The Mossad has sent 4 foreign Israeli spies (Waters family…; easy to see that it is not a real name) and The Australian Secret Service sent their best agent: Dr Slimy. We left the place in the dark and it was raining in the trucks with thunder flashes. Some lucky guys in their big cars arrived before us at the Willem Tell. Flying Plod said proudly in German: Ich Bin Ein Berliner drifer.

On on on was Wunderbarre and we forgot the Katastrofe Deutsche marking with many German beers.

Hash Trash / Yogi Bra adds: Lovely trail, good run.  True, the trail of breadcrumbs Blitzy left was occasionally insufficient, and the last bit in the wet, dark paddy was potentially hazardous, but good fun.

In addition to Phlegm’s recollection of the circle:  Celebrating anniversaries:  Blah Blah 90, Ikea 50, Rowena / Germinator 20, Paulette 10.   Receiving whippings:  the ipod-toting Americans, Sarsy for confessing to Ikea whilst tanked that he wished to be American and vote red, Dutchie for exhibitionism while relieving himself, and Yogi Bra for ensnaring five ladies-in-waiting to assist her bathroom dash to the woods.  Namings: Rowena was dubbed The Germinator by Sir Flying Plod for her involvement in animal husbandry and distaste for German cat-lovers.

On! On!